Refreshed & refocused

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.--Dr. Suess

Welcome back, everyone!! I hope that the long weekend provided some extra time for everyone to rest, play, and prepare for the shortened week ahead! I am certainly hoping that somebody important pushes a bill in which we implement a permanent 3-day-weekend calendar. Is it too much to ask, really?

I also appreciated having a few days to rest my mind and have a small break from the blog. I enjoy keeping up with everybody and updating on here in hopes that at least one person reads it and is inspired to do something new. It is important for everyone, though, to take breaks so we can be refreshed.

Over the weekend, I found myself in a lot of interesting discussions with people that inspired today's topic: being true to one's self. In working with adolescents, I find myself reminded daily of the pain of youth--no true identity and a willingness to do anything to gain acceptance. While there are many benefits to being young, I would not take a million dollars to redo these years of my life. I appreciate that through those years, I was able to find myself, but I don't want to go through this conquest again.

While I may not be faced with the same challenges I faced back then (which table to sit at during lunch—defining the social group with which I would be associated; to be a bully, be bullied, or stand up for what’s right; to tight roll my jeans or not to right roll my jeans), even as an adult, we are faced daily with opportunities to stand for something, fall for anything, and define our sense of self by either option taken. At the end of the day, I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not, and I hope others can find the strength to say the same. And I am eternally grateful for my friends who keep me grounded, so when I lose sight of who I am, they help guide me back to my path.

To highlight this concept, I will review various historical figures who have been true to themselves:

-Martin Luther King: One of the best known leaders of American history, Dr. King risked his safety daily and spent his life inspiring and motivating others to put their fear aside for the greater good—to end the oppression, violence, and inequality the black people of the USA were experiencing. 

-Galileo: Called a heretic by the Catholic church, he spoke what he believed to be the truth (that the Earth was not the center of the universe). He had the opportunity to recant to please the Pope, but maintained his perspective and even attempted to explain that his perspective did not contradict the Bible; he was instead found guilty of “vehemently suspect of heresy” and was sentenced to house arrest for the remainder of his life.

-Jesus Christ: He clearly gave his life for what he believed in, and spent his existence on earth spending time with those whom others cast out, hated, and shunned. Despite the fact that he was not popular and his acts were not understood, he did what he knew to be right and true to himself—to love all. 

-Rosa Parks: She didn’t stand up for what she believed in, she sat down for it. Refusing to give up her seat on the bus, she began the bus boycott that played a significant role in the Civil Rights movement. Also, the A&T four (from right here in Greensboro) that did the same—refusing to give up their seats at the Woolworth’s, then bringing light to the sit-ins that had already begun but then caught like wildfire in the South.

-Oskar Schindler: By employing Jews during the Holocaust, he saved over 1100 Jewish from execution. While this was a smart business move and he was able to financially profit, he did so to stand up for what he knew was true within him.

This list could go on and on. As I continue to work to make sense of the various challenges that I encounter in my continued journey to be myself and avoid a world of black & white, I find myself with the following thoughts:

There are things about ourselves that we can change—and if they are something we are inclined to change, we will.

There are things about ourselves that we cannot change—so those things, we will work to accept and celebrate because they make us who we are.

We can change nobody else in the world but ourselves, so rather than wishing they would change to accommodate my needs, accept and celebrate who they are, and understand from where they are coming. Through understanding, conflict can cease and relationships can begin. This is the gray—finding the common ground when black & white is the illusion imposed.

Being ourselves and being honest with ourselves about who we are and what we need is not an act of selfishness, but instead an act of necessity—for if we are not ourselves in the truest form, we are nobody.

Enjoy your week, my friends!