24

The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence. -Dennis Waitley

I have received several emails/posts in response to yesterday's post, correcting me on a sundry of things.  Just to make sure I'm getting the truth out there:

I need to clarify your memory. The gals were arguing because they couldn't read the other's shorthand. Therefore, they were "quarreling" about cheating, which I thought was pretty hysterical.

Penny did not just volunteer for Meals On the Go until she died at age 85... she was the HEAD of it right up until her death!   When she got the news that she had pancreatic cancer, she was forced to back off for the last month of her life. Her phone was ringing off the hook with distress calls from people 15 years her junior wondering what was happening to the meal program.  She redefined (should I say clarified?) for me what greatness really looks like. I feed the birds every day now...

Today's actual post, however, is about my folks.  So--changing gears.

Riah w/ the folks
Note;  That s not me, it is Riah.

 Since moving to North Carolina, I have worked full-time as an Intensive In-Home Specialist.  In English, you ask?  My teammates (a team of 3) and I are assigned a teenager who has mental health/behavioral issues that are impairing his/her ability to function in the home, school and/or community.  As we all know, children are a product of their environments, so my teammates and I rotate through the clients, with one of us assigned to visiting them in the home each day for a couple hours.  Our time there is spent working with the child, the parent(s) and the family as a whole.  This job has given me enough crazy stories to write a book, but it has also given me the opportunity to really look at parents as a whole. 
Despite the significant malfunctions we see in these homes, I honestly see--in EVERY single parent I have met--noble intentions.  The Dad who beats his son, the Mother who has a new boyfriend every week, the parents who are more focused on Springer than on their kids--every single one of them has good intentions.  It has also allowed me to look at my parents in a whole new light.

Riah's return from France, 2008

They also, like my Grandparents, have been there since the day I was born--and 9 months prior to it, actually!!  Obviously, by default, it becomes their job to teach--well--everything.  How to walk, how to talk, how to read, how to ride a bike.  All of these tasks they were successful in....and I did learn cuss words (and used them on Gramma when I was 3) and the first time I rode a bike, I didn't know how to use pedal brakes and ran into the neighbor's garage. 

However, some of the most valuable lessons I actually learned were that of being responsible, that of being independent, and that of being understanding/open-minded.  One such experience of this was a family vacation (the only one we took) to Jamaica when I was about 14.  We were able to see extreme poverty, and happiness amongst the people we met there, showing us that personal belongings were absolutely no measure of one's worth, but one's worth was that of self-measurement.  We were always taught that we were nothing more or less than anybody else, so passing judgment upon others was an irrelevant idea--that there is no better/worse, only differences that can be appreciated and learned about.  And while I will forever be jealous of all the kids in the world whose parents pay for everything, I have met many-an adult who has yet to figure out how to take care of him/herself financially because he/she has never had to be responsible for him/herself.  Both my sister and I travelled alone internationally by age 17 because we had the confidence, independence, and support in doing so. 

Pau, France, April 2011

The other value that was instilled and will forever remain is appreciating those people I have in my life.  We spent summers on vacation with our extended relatives.  While we lived hours away from them, we got one whole week of each other, non-stop.  Not only did this allow for Mariah to eat 4 breakfasts every morning, but for all of us cousins to spend time together and with the "grown ups."  We spent every Thanksgiving and Christmas morning with the Jones family and every Christmas Eve with the Wulff family.  They even paid for me to go to France this year to see my sister because they understand the importance of our relationship. 

My Dad also attempted to teach me a love for animals--see the pictures of him on here with all of his weird animals--and that lesson failed.  I don't like them--in a box, with a fox,  here or there or anywhere, not in a car, not in a tree, so let me be!!  However, that passion for helping and caring has been foundational in allowing me to do my job, and do it well. 

Thanks, Mom & Dad.  See you in 3 weeks, folks!