We have heard similar quotes to this a million times, but do we ever take the time to really think about them? To me, there is nothing worse than sharing with somebody that I'm having a difficult time and hearing in response, "Everything has a purpose." While it may be true, it is certainly not something I want to hear. Instead, I would benefit from being reminded of the strength I have gained through past hardships. So today, a little self-disclosure.
My knee has hurt the last several weeks while running. For those of you that somehow missed the memo, I am training for my first full marathon. This includes running 4 times a week. 3 of these times are 3-5 miles long, and every other weekend alternates from a short run (7-13 miles) and the other week a long run (14-22 miles). Last weekend was a short 10 mile run. Yes, I know this is an oxymoron, but compared to the long weeks, it is a short run. The weekend that I did my 18 mile run, I did the last 7 in pain and in tears/near tears for the entire time. The weekend after was a 9 mile run, and it was fine. Then I did a 20 mile run and 14 of them were good, 5 of them were sore, and 1 was near-tears. This past weekend was a 10 mile run. After less than a quarter of a mile, I was in pain and I knew it--I ran the first full mile, did a walk/jog combo for the 2nd mile and quit. Coach Lynn has taught me enough about pain levels and pain types to know when I need to wave the white flag. And that was it.
Again, for those who missed the memo, I am one stubborn fool. So having to throw in the towel 8 miles early was a little rough on the ego & rough on me in general. I know, I know--I can reason through it and tell myself that it is better to do that than to push through and cause greater injury. Or that I've come so far and to be proud of the progress I've made. Blah blah blah. I mean--I thank you for all your kind sentiments, but I don't want to hear any of them. I say that politely and as kindly as possible.
I had to spend some time this weekend doing some headwork (which, by the way, is FAR more difficult than a 20 mile run)--and had to review some past situations of hardship that came unexpectedly and made me stronger in the end--buckle up, folks!! This is a long one!!
June 2008. Iowa had just experienced an F-5 tornado and it hit about 20 miles from where I lived in Parkersburg, Iowa, leveling the tiny town and throwing debris hundreds of miles away. I went up to the Courthouse that Monday morning to apply for a new passport--I was going to be nannying on a cruise in a few weeks and would be headed to Canada. As I drove up there, I saw people out near the river, shoveling sand. While this struck me as odd, I didn't seem to pay attention. When I arrived at the court house and processed my paperwork, the lady asked me if I was going to be sandbagging that day. I had no idea what she was talking about, made some small talk and headed into work. Once I arrived, people said, "You live near the river--you need to go home and get ready for what's coming." Again--oblivious or stupid--you decide--I went home and hung out. I watched some daytime TV, took a nap, watched a movie and enjoyed a free day off of work. Lunch time rolled around and a co-worker called to ask if I was up for "a break" from everything. I sure was--so a few of us piled into a car and headed up to "The Fainting Goat" for lunch (yes, that is a real place). The traffic in this tiny little population-of-10,000 farm town was insane--traffic jams that backed up a couple blocks. Once arriving at "The Goat," we found it was closed--with a sign that read "Closed so employees can prepare for the flood." We drove all over town to find that Burger King was the only place open--and headed there (you can obviously tell that this is an old story cuz you'll never catch me putting that poison in my system now!!).
As we drove across the one-lane green bridge on the way home, I saw every house near the river with trucks, moving trucks, and boxes outside--everybody was emptying their home. At this point, I thought, "hmph, I should maybe give some thought to this whole thing--apparently there is a flood coming?" I called a few friends and had them come over to assist in bringing up some expensive things from the basement (washer & dryer), and moving some of the nice things to the attic (Grandma's table, computer, etc.). The neighbors told me that this flood was going to be 2 inches more than the one in '98, and that the water didn't even come up over the curb of the house I was living in. So I was going to be golden, but it was okay to prepare a little, I supposed.
June 9, 2008--Green Bridge in Waverly, IA |
The next morning, I awoke with a text from a friend who said that the water had come up further than expected. I was panicked--I had not prepared for the water to even get into my yard--so what was going to await me? My friends and I packed up and headed back into town--to find that there was no way to drive THROUGH town. There were 2 bridges--one running North/South and one running East/West as the river took a bend in town. I lived right inside the elbow of the bend. You do the math--if the water is going to run over--where will it be worst? AT THE ELBOW.
My little house on June 20, 2008 |
I could hear the water rushing when I was in the house. I opened the basement door--looked down and saw nothing but darkness. I was so confused--how had the water not entered the house? I grabbed a flashlight and pointed it down the stairs--and was blinded. The darkness I saw was NOT a dark, empty basement, but was water all the way up to the rafters in the basement. We made some quick moves and got everything worth anything from the first floor up to the attic, checked on the cats, and headed out.
Looking down the main street--there is a bridge down there that can't even be seen because the water went right over top. |
Now, I certainly will not cue the violins here and tell you how awful it was for me. Clearly my house was nailed, and as a result, I moved out and was "homeless" for 90 days while I continued residing with Mike, his wife and their 1 year old son (and for this, I'm forever indebted to them!). I was a renter, though, so I was off rather "easy" compared to others. The neighbors across the street came home and stepped on their front cement step, and it slid out from underneath them because the ground was so wet--then later that day, their basement caved in. Hundreds and thousands of people lost everything they owned--and important mementos--photos, wedding dresses, their children's baby clothing, etc. In the end, yeah, I lost some items--and lived all summer on about 4 outfits. But out of this, what did I gain?
Aerial shot of the city. My house would be located on the right edge toward the bottom. |
I'm sure there are some other great life lessons in here too--like LISTEN to warnings when they are given, pack more than 3 outfits if you may be homeless for the next 90 days, don't collect so much junk in the first place, don't walk through flood water, etc. But instead, we will focus on the strength that came through adversity!!
My knee--yes it hurts. Yes I panic that I won't be able to run the marathon in 34 days. Yes I get mad when I can't finish out my last 8 miles and I have to switch from running to spinning (which I am NOT a fan of, might I add). And I appreciate all the kind obligatory sentiments that others share when they know I'm feeling frustrated/discouraged lately--ah no, I don't appreciate them, but I appreciate their intent. But at the end of the day, I know that somewhere in dealing with this business of a bum knee, I will make it through somehow, that others have it far worse than I do in the world, and that I wouldn't be the strong individual I am today without the hardships I've experienced in the past. If a little water couldn't get me down, a little IT band/knee issue won't either.
And a shout out to all my peeps here--without whom I wouldn't have made it through then--and wouldn't do it now. I may be discouraged with my current situation, but I know that to have faith and trust in the fact that something greater is coming, and relying upon my wise & loyal friends is the only way I will make it through!!
I hope you all took bathroom breaks during today's entry. Whew!!
So now is your turn. What hardship, obstacle or adversity have you experienced in the past that you were able to overcome? What character did you develop from this experience? And with this strength you gained, what were you able to later accomplish that you may not have been able to, otherwise? Sound off, folks!!
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