LOL, ROFL, or the good ol' fashioned HA!

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.  -Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts," Saturday Night Live

Well we have taken a serious approach to all the coping skills, and today is one of my favorite--the less serious approach--laughter.  Sometimes when things are so rough, all we can do is laugh.  I know that when I've had a rough day, I will come home and turn on Baby Mama because Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have a way of creating a side-splitting laughter from me, even after seeing it 50 times!! 

To spark a few smiles from you today, I have posted several videos that, like Baby Mama, NEVER stop being funny to me.  Hope you enjoy!!

We're doing business here!!

What is this?  It is horrible!

The FUNNIEST show ever on TV!

FUNNIEST woman on prime time--can't wait for Glee!

And last but certainly not least--the clip that will always have me doubled over in laughter:

Downward dog

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.  -Author Unknown
As I had quite a stressful work day yesterday and I looked ahead to today (a court hearing--the most stressful part of my job), I realized I needed to be preventative in nature to manage stress.  I needed to burn out my anxiety about the hearing before I got there, or it would be even more stressful.  I knew I wouldn't be entirely stress-free, but I knew I could work to bring my stress levels down.  I connected with a friend to sort out the gym schedule, and decided to get my rear end up at 5:00 so I could get to the gym by 6:15 for a yoga-like class.  It is called something different, but for the purposes of today's post, we are going to call it yoga (for the locals, it is Centergy at the Rush--also for the locals, I have free passes to it so let me know if you want to join me for a class sometime).

For those who don't know me or may  have forgotten, I am ANYTHING but a morning person.  I have had to get up early on Saturdays all summer long for the marathon training--when it is 100 degrees out by 11:00 AM, I want to be done well before that.  Since I've been getting up at 4:00 AM on Saturdays (I start at 6, those 2 hours are spent eating, packing, getting dressed and anti-chafed, and dropping coolers at various spots throughout my route), getting up at 5:00 AM today didn't seem too rough.  When I saw the warm, smiling  face of my instructor, I knew it was the right choice.  When I left class feeling more calm and centered about the most anxiety-provoking setting I experience, I was certain I would be returning to these classes again--even if they start before the sun has come up (side note:  The phrase "this hour is for the birds?"  It doesn't even apply here--it was BEFORE the hour for the birds because they were not even awake yet!!).  

As a runner, I use the class for 2 reasons:  stretching out my fatigued muscles & regaining focus on myself/my goals.  Obviously pounding my feet for 20 miles on Saturday is going to be a little rough on my joints and muscles.  About 40,000 strides will do a number on a body.  My hip flexors and IT band have been particularly out-of-whack lately.  By going to a yoga class, I can work to stretch out these muscles and continue to prepare myself mentally for the miles ahead of me this weekend, and in the race that is quickly approaching. 

In searching the other benefits of yoga, however, I found about 5 bazillion, but I will spare you that long list and go with a few of the top choices:
-It improves flexibility.
-Yoga improves strength.
-Yoga improves posture.
-It improves breathing--which as we recall from a previous post improves the ability to manage stress.
-Yoga helps to improve concentration and being "in the moment."
-Yoga helps to slow down heart rate and blood pressure, which helps to reduce risk for heart disease/heart attacks.

If you would like to read a list of the bazillion--I mean 77--benefits of yoga, feel free to check out this link.

For those who are intimidated by yoga, have no fear--just show up and give it a shot.  Everybody loses their balance and all beginners have NO flexibility.  I literally watched my 50-something instructor do the splits and lay her head on the ground today.  I am NOWHERE near that level of flexibility--and never will be.  But I will continue to work toward it anyway!! 

Just for the record, I was so calm & chillaxed after class (and a 2 mile run) that I went to court, was the calmest I've ever been in court, left court and was pulled over by a police officer, and didn't even sweat or shed a tear!  And yes, I got off with a warning--darn oxygen sensors keeping me from passing my state inspection....

Still taking submissions for Saturday, and reminding locals that if they want to do the T Dolla Bill/Autism 5k on September 17 or the Women's Only 5k to get signed up now!!

Namaste!!

Motivation 101, Part 9

The purpose here is to reward yourself for a job well done. This is positive reinforcement. The reward is an opportunity to stop and smell the roses that bloom as a result of your hard work. -K. Jeffrey Miller

Well good Monday morning to everyone!  Time to jump start another week.  The good news is that next weekend is a 3 day weekend--so keep that in mind as we all get up and work to avoid  a case of the Mondays!

Today's topic is about self-rewards.  As we have been talking for nearly 2 months now about goals, it is a good time to sit back and reflect upon the progress we have made toward that goal.  Perhaps the goal has been reached entirely--and if so, congratulations and I look forward to hearing what your next goal is.  If your goal has not been reached, let us use this time to sit back and assess our progress.  After all, a goal is a finish line, but there are a lot of mile markers in between the start and the finish, and each one of those is an opportunity to celebrate.

One of my favorite rewards--pedis!!

Here is the time for you to respond.  What progress have you made toward your goal?  Are you up to being able to do 5 push ups a day?  Have you cut back to smoking 2 less cigarettes per day?  Have you lost 5 pounds?  Have you saved $100?  Have you integrated vegetables into your diet 2 more times per day?  Have you clocked your top speed at a competition? 

Now comes the next response time--what have you done to celebrate this?  These milestones are often overlooked as they seem like "not very much," but tell me what can be more encouraging than celebrating the milestones so we don't give up before we meet our actual goal?  I honestly don't know very many people that reward themselves as they should, and it was certainly a difficult concept for me to grasp at one point.  Rewarding yourself can be as simple as giving yourself permission to sleep in one morning when you might otherwise get up and start cleaning.  It can be buying yourself a book or a new outfit.  It can be self-pampering or even food (as long as your goal is not food/weight related). 

So this is a double sound-off, I suppose--tell me where you are in your journey to reaching your goal, and tell me what have you or what will you do to reward yourself?  After all, you've done the work so you might as well get some credit for it!!

Positive Polly

Turns out its not where but who you're with that really matters. -Dave Matthews Band, "Best of What's Around."

A friend and I were running yesterday and were discussing how easy it is to become that with which you surround yourself.  This is the very message we give to our children because we know when the terrible teens come, all kids are nothing but followers and simply chameleon to their environment.  While this concept seems like a rather obvious one, how often do we choose to surround ourselves with that which does not help us?  I am guilty as charged!!  Misery loves company and we all know this cliche too well.  We have all met a Debbie Downer before, and the last thing I ever want to become is this very person...though she is rather funny on SNL: 

In the recent days, I have made a conscious effort to surround myself with people who make me feel nothing less than wonderful--making plans with a friend for dinner, movie and a sleepover, hitting up a local band, running with one of the most intelligent men I've met, putting in hours at the office with a good friend (turned boss), visiting a new church with some great music, texting with my lifelong hero and 5-paragraph-essay teacher, checking out a roller derby with my new favorite baby mama, and coffee tomorrow with my favorite NC mama...my list goes on and on!  It isn't that I have to keep my calendar filled, but I prefer to have more social engagement than not--and I prefer that social engagement is with good people who make me smile and make me feel important (and kind, and smart, and loved--new motto shout out to ABS!). 

So as we continue to talk about emotions that may not be our favorite to experience, I challenge you to surround yourself with people and activities that keep you focused on loving yourself and motivating your progress toward your goals.  I'll take a Positive Polly over a Debbie Downer every day!! 

Who do you have in your life that reminds you that you are loved--that you are worth it--that you can be and do anything you ever desire?

Cheese!

Of all of our inventions for mass communication, pictures still speak the most universally understood language.  -Walt Disney

This is a Friday post that is being posted on Saturday.  My apologies for the late posting, but I was at work until 11:00 PM on Thursday and was too tired to prepare a Friday post.  And Friday came and I was busy at the gym, running errands, helping with Bubba, and then taking the night to myself to have some much needed fun!!  The fun from that night inspired this very post.

Who doesn't enjoy some decorative artwork around the house?  I'm a sucker for most any form of artwork at a home, but nothing quite gets me like a crisp black and white photograph.  Ironically, "embracing gray" does not seem to jive with the idea of a black & white photo, but these photos are filled with all shades of gray, coming together to make a classic look with a captured memory.

Holly & La--capturing memories

Still following the idea of the various coping skills that we can use, I find that filling my space with photographs of those who are important to me helps me to maintain my focus on my goals.  I spent time recently on a project, printing out black and white photos of all of my NC friends.  Now, don't get me wrong--my other friends are equally amazing--and already posted in various locations around my house.  Until recently, however, I did not have a strong group of friends here in NC.  I found that after I reached the 2 year mark here, I finally felt as though I was home.  And in one's home, one has photographs.  I will continue to add to the circle of friends I develop here, and as such, will also continue to add to the black and white photo collection I have put together.  Most recently, I found that keeping these pictures in good "reminder locations" helped me to again recognize how fortunate I am and remind myself of the many individuals who care about and support me. 

Where do you like to post photos?  How do they help you?  Feel free to share a favorite picture so everybody can see the beauty in the photo that keeps you focused. 

Mood for a mantra

"What's a motto?"  "Nothing, what's a motto with you?" -Simba & Timon, Lion King

As one can tell by the fact that I start every post with a quote, I am a fan of inspirational words.  My coach told me yesterday that she keeps a book of quotes and uses these regularly.  Anybody who has ever visited my humble abode would tell you that I have them EVERYWHERE around my house--on my walls, on my mirrors, on the fridge--anywhere one can be posted, it is.  Sometimes these are quotes of famous people, sometimes of friends, sometimes a line from a movie or a song.  Last night, I started a notebook of quotes that my friends say--not the funny ones like we posted on the wall of our suite in college, but encouraging ones. In the end, I use all of these quotes as a source of inspiration and a form of communication. 

One of my many faves!

During times of hardship--a moment of impulsivity or feeling overwhelmed, I find that it is helpful to have one phrase to repeat to myself to get through the intensity of that moment.  Coach reminds me often that "this, too, shall pass."  Sometimes I prefer a little Stuart Smalley in reminding myself that "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."  I did enjoy the mantra that Abilene taught Mae Mobley in "The Help," "I is kind, I is smart, I is important."  A friend recently told me that she gets sick of hearing "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger," but she has been through a lot and hasn't been killed yet--so she's clearly getting stronger!  I'm sure many people rely upon verses from the Bible--Philippians 4:13 is often a favorite. 

Do you already have a mantra?  If not, what is one you could use?  Repetition of these mantras  helps us to not only get through the intense emotions we may be experiencing at that time, but it also helps us to reinforce positive messages within ourselves.  If you don't have a mantra, spend some time looking up quotes today that help reinforce a message you would benefit from hearing and believing.  Please share it with us on here--you never know how your mantra may help another!!

As a reminder, I haven't been able to post on a Saturday in weeks--I would love to have a reason to post this week!!  Please put together your SUPERSTAR story to share and email it to me here!

Turn it up

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach

It is hump day—the weekend is officially in sight. For those with kiddos headed back to school this week, we know how critical the weekend is for them. For those of us who don’t have kiddos, we know how critical the weekend is for us!! I don’t think I have ever lived for weekends so much in my life. Well, as a kid, I probably did—but it was for the excitement of watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse and eating breakfast in the living room. Now it is for different reasons.

I realize that last week, I did an entry about the value of silence—and today’s entry is opposite of that. Remember that our tool box of coping skills needs to be filled to the brim so we have lots of options—and sometimes certain skills work or are options, while other times they do not work or are not options. For example, while silence is a great coping skill, I can’t exactly have silence if I’m at work because I’m not paid to do a session of silence at work. In such a scenario, I need to have other options to call upon.

 I have had an emotional couple of days—we all have them and it is nothing to write home about, but these are the days where my skills are put to the test. It really becomes a game of trial and error. After I identify that I am feeling emotional, I work to identify what is causing it. From there, I work to fix/change it. Silence and running were my skills this morning. They helped a bit, but not entirely. I also made a list in my head of things I’m thankful for and I used positive self-talk throughout the day to keep my ugly talk out of my head. But the clouds finally parted tonight when I was helping a friend with some labor tasks and we listened to the music that matched my mood and helped to bring me closer to “out of the funk.”

As we looked through her CD collection and she asked what I wanted to listen to, the answer flew out my mouth: angry chicks. For some, it might cause more anger to listen to this music, but at that moment, it really was more of an expression of those emotions so they were not festering within me. Between keeping myself busy, listening to angry chick music, communicating with some very supportive friends, keeping myself busy and knowing I helped a friend, I literally felt the clouds part and I felt ready to move forward. It was a perfect way to end the night.

So—I chose Cranberries & Ani DiFranco to help me out tonight. What CDs are good ones for you when you are in a funk? Or angry? Or need motivation? I like to keep a playlist for every mood and I didn’t have one for today’s funk—but you can bet I’ll be working on one after I post this!!

Have a great day!!

Gratitude is the attitude

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  -John F. Kennedy

Well we all survived another Monday and are now kicking off our Tuesday mornings.  I enjoy starting my Tuesday morning off with a Today Show interview with  Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster!!). 

Today's entry is another coping skill you can use--either one you can do internally or even one you can do externally.  I often find that in the midst of having a bad day, I quickly begin feeling sorry for myself.  I saw "The Help" with some amazing ladies last night and one of the scenes includes Constantine addressing young Skeeter when she feels badly for herself.  Constantine challenges her, asking "'Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision. You gone have to ask yourself, Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?"  Now I'm not typically falling victim to what other people say, but can often fall victim to my own pity party (and it is not much of a party when I'm the only one in attendance!).  As I was facing this yesterday, I began making a list of the various things for which I am thankful.

While I made this list in my head yesterday, this is also something that can be written down.  Gratitude journals are lists of various things for which we are thankful--it can be simple things like our health, or it can be the bird that we heard chirping early this morning.  I find that this thankfulness list has pulled me out of many-a-rut that I've been in.  Yesterday, I was grateful for getting clearance from the chiropractor to run, my movie-going ladies who love me unconditionally, movies that help me look at my own life in a new perspective, weights that help me build my strength, my own willingness to not give up....the list is endless!! 

I'd love for you all to make a list today of a dozen things that you are thankful for and share it--or share a few of them--on here.  Do you keep a gratitude journal?  How do you show gratitude in your interactions with others?  I'm

Motivation 101, Part 8

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. –George Burns

I hope everybody had a fantastic weekend!! I enjoyed a nice, long run and have rested since then due to some pain in the knee. I also got to spend a little time with family in Virginia yesterday—and that was, of course, very enjoyable! Now it is time to get back down to business.

For today’s Motivation Monday, I am going to share a story that a friend actually shared with me. I have heard people say a BILLION times that “I can’t run” and “I’m too old.” Well, while I’m sure this is a lie that these individuals have told themselves enough to believe, I share with you today a story that proves that age plays no factor in being fit—and as a matter of fact, it actually helps to maintain youth. Below is a video of the story of Ms. Ida Keeling, a 95 year old runner. Enjoy her story!

 

 

Today’s entry is short because Ms. Ida’s story is more than enough. Enjoy your Monday—let’s start this week strong!

Cool off

Like fragile ice, anger passes away in time. -Ovid

Well in light of the fact that I ran 18 miles yesterday and hurt my knee, I thought it would be good to talk today about cooling off (because I have been sitting on an ice pack on my knee on and off for the last day) as a coping skill.

When we get angry/escalated/emotional, our blood pressure rises and our body temperature typically rises as a result. Many of us sweat when we start to get emotional like that. I am one of those. Others may get warm faces, or get the creeping red neck/face. Continuing to get warm/stay warm or be in a warm setting can contribute to our continued agitation. So from a very logical standpoint, working to cool down will help us to “cool off” or deescalate. This can be in various forms: putting a cool washcloth on the face, drinking a glass of ice water, taking a cold shower, or simply removing ourselves to a cooler environment (step outside in the winter or into the A/C in the summer—or hop in the pool if one is available). There was a young boy that lived at the home I worked at several years ago who could be at any state of agitation and with the assistance of a glass of ice water and a cool washcloth, would be calm within minutes.

According to a study found here, hot temperatures generally produces the following effects: increased heart rate, increased respiration rate, deeper respiration, increased blood circulation rate, slight decrease in heart stroke volume, skin blood vessel dilation, sweating, decrease in thyroid-stimulating hormone and consequent decrease in basal metabolic rate, and increase in galvanic skin response (GSR) and skin conductance.

A NC snow storm--really.  There was no school for 5
days because of this bad boy. Visualizing snow/winter
can help you to cool down!

Think about this from a practical standpoint. Have you ever been outdoors on a HOT day—but not because you were at the beach or pool? Or maybe the A/C went out in the car or in the house? I have various clients that don’t have A/C because they don’t pay their bills. It stays nearly 100 degrees down here for most of the summer, so imagine how irritable these families are. My A/C went out in my car for a day and I was having homicidal ideation, so I can’t imagine how they deal with this regularly. If being that hot makes us agitated, then cooling down would obviously lend itself to being less stressed than when we are hot.

Can you think of a time when temperature contributed to either an escalation or a de-escalation? What “cooling off” method would you prefer to use?

 Hope you enjoy the final day of our weekend!

Tap this.

If your teeth are clenched and your fists are clenched, your lifespan is probably clenched.  -Terri Guillemets
Today is a total therapy post--so for those who are not interested in therapy talk, peace out!  For those who are, you've come to the right place!!

We will be learning about a technique called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique.  Before I explain it because it sounds kind of hokey, I am going to share 2 success stories using EFT that I myself have witnessed.

The first is about a young boy who was on a lot of medication to assist him with hyperactivity and violent anger outbursts.  His parents decided that while he was living in our residential facility, he should go off of his medication cold turkey.  While we were not in support of this decision, they were his legal guardians and it had to be supported until legal action could be taken.  The staff members were very unhappy about this as this boy was already becoming violent and locked in the safety room (for the safety of himself and others) on a regular basis--at least daily.  He was working with an AWESOME counselor at the time (not me--though the story would be cooler if it were) who had heard about EFT.  She took the time to learn about it, then trained the boy to use it and the staff to reinforce it.  While he had gone off all his medications and was still experiencing anger regularly, he was able to reduce situations of going to the safety room to only several times a week.

Another story is about a 17 year old boy I was working with.  He was the kind of kid who did not explode with anger, but rather seemed to implode--the kind we had to keep a close eye on for fear that he may some day hurt himself when he was not being closely watched.  One day, he and I were talking and he got some bad news.  I saw him get angry in the flash of an eye.  We were sitting next to a wall that was all glass windows--and I could see him just getting ready to leap out of his skin.  I quickly assessed myself (I was calm and able to maneuver through the situation), the environment (all glass windows--he could hurt himself and do some serious property damage), and himself (he was angry as all get out).  I quickly encouraged him to use his EFT techniques and he would not--so instead, I approached him and began doing the tapping for him, repeating his statements.  Literally, within 2 minutes he was yawning and stated that he needed to go to bed because he was so tired.  He went from ready to run through a wall of glass to ready to nap in 120 seconds.

Because I can't explain it nearly as well as the pros, enjoy the video below.  If you are looking for more information, check out this website where you can click on "get started for free" and download a book to walk you through this step-by-step.  There are lots of other youtube videos out there, as well, so search and tap away. 

Have a great weekend!  I haven't received any Saturday submissions so I will be taking tomorrow off.  18 miles for me tomorrow--hope you get to do something as exciting!!

We are what we eat

Did you ever stop to taste a carrot? Not just eat it, but taste it? You can't taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie. - Astrid Alauda

Allow me to again provide a disclaimer that I am not endorsing food as a coping mechanism.  I presented in an earlier blog about meeting our emotional needs appropriately, and hunger is a physical need--so eating to meet an emotional need makes as much as sense as going to the hardware store to get new underwear.  However, how we eat impacts how we feel, and ultimately that impacts how we respond to stress and triggers. 

We will look at this from both ends--eating and NOT eating. 

How many of you are breakfast skippers?  Or when the day gets too busy, forget to eat?  How does this impact your mood?  I wind up feeling sick of I am hungry and don't eat--and obviously if I'm feeling light-headed or nauseous, I am more likely to respond to stressors negatively.  This also doesn't allow for appropriate nutrition to be provided to our bodies to manage a stress-free day, much less a stressful day.  I know there are emotions that I experience that leave me without an appetite--anger and sadness, primarily.  During those times, I have to be more aware of this and recognize that if I want to return to a state of feeling more even-keel, it is going to come by making positive choices--even if I don't feel like making them.  I will need to eat (and eat  healthily) so I can be in control and return myself to a more desirable emotional state.

We have talked about adrenaline one may experience in respond to stress, but the other hormone we experience is cortisol.  That hormone stimulates hunger and can trick us into thinking we are hungry--even when we are not.  This causes cravings for high carb and fatty foods.  I'm not opposed to a bowl of ice cream or anti-carb--all foods are okay in moderation (THAT, my friends, IS GRAY!).  But as we work to recognize our stress, the trigger of it, and appropriate ways to manage this stress, turning to food is not going to be helpful.

Fatback

The better we treat our bodies up front, the more armed and ready it is to respond to stress.  I can't tell you the number of 400-pound women I have worked with down here who tell me regularly that they can't handle the stress of their child because it could cause a heart attack.  Imagine the self-restraint I use when I say, "I'm more concerned about the fried chicken, fat back (for those who are NOT from the South--this is a typical Southern food that is the actual fat off the back of a pig--typically cut into strips like bacon, then fried & salted...about 400 calories per 4 inch slice...), and greens you're making in CRISCO...."  They are absolutely correct, though--their bodies cannot handle anymore stress than the stress they are already putting on it.  However, you could also be a perfectly physically healthy 120 woman and eat unhealthily, and as a result, your body isn't as prepared for stress as it could be.  There are foods you can actually eat that will improve your responses to stress, as indicated in this website which discusses how potassium helps to regulate blood pressure, omega-3 fatty acids help to improve mood, folic acid helps to reduce stress, black tea can slow the production of cortisol, and complex carbs/whole grains help to increase production of seratonin. 

So arming ourselves for the day by eating healthily regularly is a good preventative way to assist in our responses to stress; and being mindful of how/what/if we are eating in response to stress can help us to navigate through the stress when it appears.  It makes sense, right--have you ever polished off a bag of chips or a candy bar and thought, "I feel so much better right now?"  Hmm...not so much.....

Shhhhhhhh

Silence is golden. -Frankie Valli

As we continue this theme of ways to manage stress, I am wondering if anybody has bothered to try any of these?  And while today's theme is silence, I am asking that the comments section does NOT stay silent.  I see that I have multiple hits on this site every day and very few comments.  While I respect everyone's right to read and not respond, I will tell you that my job as the writer of the blog is MUCH easier when I am having a conversation, rather than delivering a monologue.  So please respond!  For those who are not sure how, respond as "Anonymous" but then sign your name at the end of the entry so I know who you are.  :)

Today's topic is silence.  I can think of situations--both distant and recent past--in which I was dealing with some emotion that was less than desirable and the perfect solution was silence.  Silence can be in various forms.  Sometimes it means shutting my mouth and walking away so that I don't regret anything I say--so being silent.  Sometimes it means walking away from the source of the emotional trigger--whether it is a person or situation.  And sometimes it means removing the noise--literally or metaphorically--so you can refocus again.  Sometimes, sitting in the silence allows us to review the recent trigger, evaluate our options in regard to the situation, and then develop a game plan for moving forward productively. 

You all well know how much I enjoy my music--especially while running.  There was a day several weeks ago in which I was hurt, mad, confused and losing sleep because of all of these.  I strapped on my shoes and went for a run--and I forgot my IPOD.  Really, I forgot it.  When I got to the park to run, I realized that it was perfect that I'd forgotten it because my head already had enough noise in it and I didn't need to add to it with the music, but instead I needed some silence to help clear my head.  While running, I heard all kinds of other noise from nature--birds chirping, frogs croaking, wind blowing--and the silence did help me--after 8 miles--to be able to attack the day with a better attitude.

Again, silence is something that can be combined with any of the other techniques--sweating it out, taking deep breaths, etc.  Tell me about a time silence helped you?

Motivation 101, Part 7

It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing. -Rosemarie Rossetti

Happy Tuesday, readers.  I realized yesterday that I missed Motivation Monday because I was so excited about sweating it out.  So I will post it a day late (and a buck short) this morning instead!!

I know I have spoken a little bit before about the difference between sharing an accomplishment and bragging.  For those who know me, I am really good at doing both!!  But as we work to identify and stay motivated to reach goals, it is critical that we are honest about our progress toward our goals.  While achieving a goal makes me already feel a significant sense of accomplishment, celebrating alone seems like a silly thing to do.  We have weddings surrounded by our friends and family.  We have birthday parties with our loved ones.  When we are expecting a baby, we have showers--not alone--but again with lots of people.  So why would we celebrate an accomplishment alone?

Is it too much to ask for a party
every time I accomplish something?

While I would love for someone to throw me a party or put together a parade every time I accomplish a goal or a landmark on the way to my goal, it is not likely and may be even a little much.  Just a little.  However, when I do reach a goal or a landmark, I am quick to call those who have supported me in my efforts to share the progress--and I expect them to do the same.  After all, if a friend of mine has devoted time to work toward a goal and I wasn't notified of the achievement, I do think I would be hurt!! 

More than even just sharing with someone an accomplishment, it is okay to surround yourself with it.  Take a picture to commemorate the event.  Write a poem or a song about it.  If you are given an award or a medal, display it for others to see.  Reminding ourselves with these accomplishments will continue to motivate us.  Sharing our accomplishments with others helps them to continue supporting us, and to be a part of our own internal celebration.

Please take time today to contact somebody about an accomplishment you have recently made.  This doesn't have to be anything life-changing.  Did you go through the day with one less cigarette than usual?  Did you eat one more vegetable than usual?  Did you do one extra rep during your tricep workout?  Did you make it to another day of sobriety?  Did you walk a block further than usual?  SHARE this accomplishment with someone and allow others to be excited with you.

Sweat it out

Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.  -John F. Kennedy

Today, I enjoyed a nice low-cal iced coffee with a new friend after I'd already completed an hour long run and then an hour-long weights class.  She and I were visiting about the incredibly difficult biceps & shoulders tracks in the class this month.  She pointed out that with the various factors in her life that have left her angry/frustrated, she often thinks about these when getting to the difficult parts of these tracks and can use this anger as energy to keep her going in the class.  No wonder she's getting such toned arms!!

I can definitely identify that when I am angry, I feel an overwhelming rush of adrenaline and find that it is best channeled through physical activity.   In my sessions with kids with some significant displays of anger, I suggest to parents that when their son/daughter is escalating, send them outside to run sprints, or have them do push ups--this adrenaline will be burned off and we now reduce the likelihood that the child will become destructive with his/her anger. 

After running hills in the 90 degree weather...
Yep, I'd say we sweat it out.
Crizz--you can hate me now for posting this!!

Other emotions, as well, can be channelled emotionally. Often, those who are sad/depressed become reclusive and will become far less active.  Anyone with small children knows that when kids are anxious or excited, they have a LOT of energy that could stand to be burned off.  I also find that when running, I can think about a problem that's been on  my mind and an emotion associated with this situation, and through the running, I am able to not only keep myself motivated to run based upon this emotion, but use the running time to help me sort out my thoughts and emotions related to the situation.

Obviously, being active has endless health benefits:
Increases metabolism
Reduces risk of heart disease, diabetes, cholesterol
Increases production of endorphins
Improves one's appearance
And improves one's mental health

What are some physical activities that you enjoy?  Obviously, I'm a running freak and you've heard me talk about other physical activities I like--Zumba, lifting weights, etc.  But there are so may more!!  Biking, yoga, pilates, hiking, swimming, dancing, going for a walk, slacklining, strength training, using the machines at the gym, doing a video at home, volleyball, soccer---the list goes on and on!!  What type of physical activity do you like to do?  How do you use this as an outlet?  ABC, how was your race??

Also, as a reminder, we are still looking for folks to join us for the Autism 5k.  Check out this blog if you need a refresher about that.  Go Team T Dolla Bill!!

Happy Monday, folks!

Sweet Dreams!!

Sleep is the best meditation. -Dalai Lama

Good thing I chose to blog today about sleeping and chose not to post it until bedtime.  For those who are checking it out before bed, it is like your very own little night time story--er--blog.

As we talk about coping skills to help us deal with stress, let me be clear that I do not endorse sleeping as a way to cope with something--as it is actually not a coping technique when utilized as such--but instead, it is an avoidance technique.  I am bringing to you various topics to help you address your stressors, not avoid them.  So today's topic of sleep is about getting good sleep in order to assist you in feeling more rested and more capable of dealing with stressors.



My fave sleeping pic ever

I'm sure we have all had those days in which we did not get enough sleep, and as a result, EVERYTHING sets us off--things that may not normally.  I am not one who regularly sleeps well--I can't remember the last time I had 8 hours of sleep.  However, I know that when I am well-rested, I am definitely far better off at navigating the various challenges of the day.

Besides that, what are the benefits of sleep?  Getting enough sleep raises our metabolism.  Getting enough sleep reduces the risk for getting sick and keeps us physically healthy.  Getting enough sleep helps us have a better mood.  And it helps us make better decisions altogether.  On a note of vanity, it also keeps us looking better--I know I've entered the day with some owl eyes before!! 

This week, challenge yourself to get to bed a few minutes earlier than usual and see if you can feel any difference in your day/week.  I'm guessing that it will!!  Rest well, blogville peeps!!

Take a mental picture, it'll last longer....

Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.  - Cherie Carter-Scott

I know that several weeks ago, I talked a little bit about visual imagery, as related to your future goals, but we are going to review it today as we talk about coping skills.  I often combine this with the deep breathing, so feel free to "mix and match" coping skills as I continue to talk about them. 

As a reminder, I'm still looking for SUPERSTAR SATURDAY submissions.  Those are some of my most read posts and I haven't been able to post one for 2 weeks--let us NOT make it 3 in a row.  I'd also love any comments/suggestions about various coping skills you'd like to see me blog about--so send any of that in an email.

Peace

Visual imagery is the art of capturing, in your mind, a feeling of what is going to help you remain calm--or return to calm if you've already left calmville.  If you would like to use your goal image, then go for it.  That can be helpful as you remember why remaining calm is important.  Otherwise, try picturing a place where you feel calm.  This might be the beach, or being alone in the wilderness, maybe a place that brought you safety as a child such as your home.  As vividly as possible, capture every detail, and begin to focus on all 5 of your senses.  What do you see?  Hear?  Feel?  Smell?  Taste?  I encourage you to take deep breaths and close your eyes as you create a calming setting within you, and as a result, feel a calming result.  I like to picture the ocean where I can taste and smell the salt in the air, hear the rolling waves crashing in and out, and feel the sand underneath me as I sink in with each crash of the wave.  In creating this image, I would like you to pick one word that describes this--could be a label of the setting (beach) or a word that helps you think of it (calm).  Write that word down and post it in various locations that will help you recall this.

While we often use coping skills only while under stress, they are actually more effective if we use them even when we are calm.  This trains our brain and our body to relax more quickly when we utilize them.  So while your word reminder may be in a lot of locations in which you usually are not stressed, use it as an opportunity to practice the visual imagery technique regularly to help keep you calm and relaxed, in addition to training the brain to calm more quickly when stressors do arise.

Let me know what your word & your image is--give me all 5 senses.  I love to hear about everybody's various mental  pictures!!

TGIF, my friends!! 

Just breathe

Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
After yesterday's lesson in psychology, we will again move back into various coping skills.  I can count through  my own day yesterday and identify about 35 times I had opportunities to blow my top, and none of those did I take that opportunity.  Instead, I resort to my first and most frequently used coping technique--the deep breath. 

Obviously, this is something we can all do--we have been doing it since the day we were born.  It is also very financially savvy as it costs you all of NOTHING.  It has an immediate effect on you as taking a deep breath immediately lowers your blood pressure, which allows you to then lower your pulse.  I have literally utilized this technique with clients and watched them go from raging to calm in 2 minutes.  So feel free--give it a try.

Blow your stomach up as this balloon!!

Now some instructions on how to appropriately deep breathe--place one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach.  In order to appropriately deep breathe, work to blow your stomach up like a balloon--making your hand on your stomach move, but not the hand on your chest.  Most of us breathe only into our chest at most moments.  This shallow breathing will not create the results that deep breathing does.  If this is difficult, trying lying on the ground.  When lying completely flat (not with a pillow, we naturally inhale deep breaths.  Take a deep breath in and exhale slowly.  Repeat until you have calmed down and can allow yourself out of amygdala reactions and back into frontal lobe decisions.

Tell me how it works for you!

Psychobabble

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. -Dr. Lawrence J. Peter

Rosemary Kennedy before lobotomy

Today's entry is going to include some psychoeducation, or as it is titled, psychobabble.  For any of those who have already taken Psych 101, you may be aware of some of this.  For those who are not, you can pay me your 3,000 dollar class fee when you finish reading today's entry.  Please look at exhibit A.  This is your brain (this not going to be followed with "this is your brain on drugs, any questions?").  Our brain is composed of various parts that each provide various functions.  You may remember back in the mid 1900's that lobotomies took place, attempting to correct psychiatric conditions through cutting portions of the pre-frontal cortex.  Rosemary Kennedy (President John F. Kennedy's sister) and Tennessee Williams' sister both underwent lobotomies; both were left incapacitated afterwards (side note:  I met Rosemary as she was kept in a home in WI near my parents' home). 

Today I will provide information about the brain as related to management of intense emotions.  Yesterday, I blogged about writing as a means of release of emotion, but I think this would've been a more appropriate blog to start with.  So I am taking a couple steps back. 

Think about a time recently when you became agitated--perhaps you were worried, stressed, even angry.  What was the situation that was going on?  Did a moron cut in front of you on Wendover during rush hour (guilty)?  Did you find yourself overwhelmed with fear about something in the future (guilty)?  Did you have a conflict with somebody important to you (guilty)?  Or maybe looked at the clock and realized you were late for something (Umm.....guilty on a daily basis)?  These events that occur that cause a change in emotional state are called triggers.  Triggers can also create happy emotions (a phone call that your best friend gave birth to baby Brooklyn, getting a raise, etc.).  We are focused on triggers today that create negative emotions, so I want you to think about those.  Before those triggers occur, we are "firing on all pistons" and are utilizing the frontal lobe, which is where our decision-making and logic occurs.  This is where we function at our best.

Enter in whatever trigger you previously identified.  Our brains reduce the use of the frontal lobe cortex and then begin to utilize the amygdala.  The amygdala is where our emotional reactions occur.  While emotions are certainly okay and highly encouraged, this is where our more impulsive decisions may occur:  flight or flight--or submit.  Picture a dog that is cornered by someone whom the dog fears may harm it.  The dog, responding from the amygdala, is going to either try to escape, will attack, or will submit to the expected abuse.  I'm not endorsing dog abuse here--or any abuse--simply offering up a way to understand this thing.  So when that moron on Wendover--or maybe Eastchester--cuts out in front of me, I am less likely to effectively/calmly problem-solve, and more likely to react emotionally--perhaps honking and offering a one-fingered gesture, maybe crying, and probably yelling any number of colorful words. 

Rosemary Kennedy after lobotomy

As we work to reduce our emotional suppression or emotional reactions that get ourselves in trouble, we will be focusing on engaging in activities that reduce the use of the amygdala and work to bring us back into the use of our frontal lobe so we can problem-solve ways to appropriately manage these emotions, rather than eating, stuffing, projecting, avoiding, smoking, drinking or any other number of those self-destructive behaviors we have.  

Today, when a trigger occurs (as it will--if we are breathing & living, triggers will occur), take some time to recognize if you are reacting logically or emotionally. And for fun, research Rosemary Kennedy--it is an interesting and sad story.  She is the reason that Special Olympics was founded, though, so I can say that the Kennedy/Shriver family did take an awful situation and turn it into something beautiful.

Enjoy your hump day!!



Write It Out

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. -Earnest Hemingway

While a lot of my blogging seems to focus on physical health, I really am more drawn to educating people about how to be mentally and emotionally healthy.  I am going to spend the next few days talking about some various outlets to emotions that can help people make healthier choices.  Today is about writing.

Check out postsecret every Sunday
these folks write to confess

Many people will say "I can't write" or "I don't know what to write."  Here's the beauty of writing--if you are never going to share it, there is no reason that what you write has to be "good enough" for anybody.  And unless you have been given an assignment, there are no rules to writing--you just do it.  For those of us who are fortunate, they had an amazing Advanced English 10 teacher who gave them incredible writing skills that made college paper-writing a piece of cake.  For those who didn't, as long as your hands move, you can write.  Mr. Hemingway's quote above is a little outdated, at best, as I'm guessing most of us don't use typewriters.  His point, however, is incredibly valid.  If you want to write, just unleash and do it. 

I have a friend that keeps a list of everything because she likes to use writing as a way to record history.  She literally has books and books of lists of funny quotes we said in college, a list of things that make her happy, and lists of a sundry of other record-keeping subjects and experiences.  I have friends that write blogs, friends that write journals, friends that write song lyrics, friends that write letters to celebrities--but whatever it is, they write.  The beauty of paper (or a computer screen, for those who do it Doogie Howser style) is that it doesn't judge.  You won't be interrupted, be put down, or be ignored. 

and some write to share

Many of us spend our days stuck in a cycle of emotions that lead to unhealthy behaviors--creating conflict, over eating, skipping the gym workouts, sleeping to avoid, using drugs/alcohol--and by not acknowledging these emotions, we are simply giving ourselves permission to continue any of these self-destructive patterns.  Today, try something different--try using that emotion and putting it down, getting it out--and see where it leads you.

Best of luck--tell me what you wrote and what you discovered as a result. 

Motivation 101, Part 6

History is the record of an encounter between character and circumstances.  -Donald Creighton

Another weekend behind us, my friends, and only 69 days until my big race!  I finally bit the bullet last night and registered for it AND bought the plane ticket to fly back.  It was a nerve-wracking experience, but it is a part of history now!!

Today's motivational subject is about writing it down.  Now, this can be a 2-part way to motivate yourself:

1.  You can take the time to organize your plans for the coming week or month.  This can be related to money planning, food planning, a workout plan, maybe a plan of time for yourself or with a special someone, or maybe to learn a new instrument or a new hobby.
2.  Log what you completed.  If you planned to take 30 minutes to go for a walk, log that it was completed.

This sounds like a very easy concept--and here's the secret--IT IS!  It is another way to keep us accountable, I find that if I wake up with a plan each day, I get those things done--or I'm more likely to get them done than if I wake up and just try to "wing it."  You know several of my other tricks--making those plans with  a friend so I'm less likely to cancel, planning my schedule around this, etc.  For example, I wanted to run today before I went to the gym at 8:30, so I knew I'd have to get up early.  I'm not a fan of waking up early EVER, but especially for a simple 3 mile run.  So by making plans with a friend to run, I knew I'd have my butt up on time--and it worked!! 

I have a friend that texts me her workout accomplishments each week and is now planning to keep a food log for me.  I didn't ask her to do this, but just shared with her that writing it down often helps--and she has found that by "turning it into me," that it keeps her more accountable.  So as you are continuing to focus on your goals, surrounding yourself with reminders and supporters of these goals, and working toward these goals, try writing it down to help you out!!

So, again, sound off--have you written it down before?  Does it help?  What do you log? 

Enjoy the first day of a new week!! 

Fraunthood

Your children need your presence more than your presents.  -Jesse Jackson

I apologize to my faithful readers who had to have a SUPERSTAR SATURDAY off.  That's 2 in a row folks. I remind you that I'm taking submissions for this feature and without your submissions, I will continue to have Saturdays off. I don't mind taking a day off, but it saddens me to think that when I'm getting plenty of hits on the site every day that I have only gotten a couple submissions for SUPERSTAR SATURDAY.  So please consider sitting down with your keyboard and shooting me an email telling me what you have done that makes you a SUPERSTAR.  Be sure to include a few pictures so we can share them, as well!

Fraunt La & Frniece Stephanie

After conquering my 16 mile run yesterday, I hit the gym, went to a movie with a friend, and then picked up my almost-10 (she will no longer claim to be 9) frniece.  For those who are not familiar with that word, it is a niece with no blood relation, but still a niece through friendship.  We enjoyed a dinner out and a movie in, and a slumber party in my bed.  Which really means that she slept wonderfully  and I didn't sleep--but in the end, it was all worth it. 


Today, I challenge you to find a little one you know--whether it is your own or a friend's child, and do something special for the child.  My frniece did identify about 25 different costly activities she wanted to do, and instead, the only money we spent was on dinner and on some cinnamon rolls for her breakfast.  She certainly does not need any STUFF--she has a house full of it--but every child benefits from some time.  So while I'm sure she would've enjoyed Chuck E Cheese or bowling or Celebration Station, this morning she is instead talking about how much fun she had snuggling at bed time. 

Pull ups

Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life.  -Pythagoras

I'm still preparing mentally for tomorrow's 16 mile runs.  I've had highs and lows this week--as does any week, and working tonight to create my own high---so I can be prepared for the 4 AM alarm clock.  IPOD is charged, carbs are packed, water bottles are made, watch, belt & road ID are out, clothes are cleaned, anti-chafage stuff is laying out, and breakfast food is ready to be prepared.  So now that I have all of the right supplies & gear--comes the head work.

Lots of people think 16 miles sounds insane--and I absolutely agree!!  However, if one has been training properly all along, 16 miles is nothing in the physical sense--it is all one big mind game.  Obviously the music helps to pass the time, but 16 miles means that there are 16 miles worth of opportunities to quit.  Like life, there are various obstacles and challenges--heat, hills, distance, being tired, heat exhaustion, pain, and an overall inner self-defeat. 

As I do my mental prep work for tonight, I make a mental list of all the emotional & physical  hills I've climbed (thanks to Urrrrr for coming out to time me on Thurs!), and the friends I have had to accompany & challenge me along the way.  I made sure to surround myself with people today that would only make me feel better & not fall to opportunities that were open to create negativity within me.  Thanks to my chiropractor, I'm taped, stretched & adjusted, and thanks to friends near & far, I've got my head in the game. 

Only the cutest can pull off wearing PULL UPS
while getting a PUSH UP. 

Bet you thought tonight's entry would be about pull ups, right?  Maybe the diapers, or the actual exercise?  Nope, it is about surrounding yourself with people who help to pull you up, and the work one can do to pull him/herself up!!  So who & what are your pull  ups? 

To all those who sent music suggestions, LOVED it!!

I still don't have any submissions for tomorrow, so I will plan to take tomorrow off unless a submission comes in.  Feel free to email me if you'd like to submit a SUPERSTAR SATURDAY submission!!

Enjoy your weekend, all!!

Playlist

Where words fail, music speaks. -Hans Christian Anderson

Just a portion of the supplies: Fuel belt,
Road ID (emergency contact info), gels/beans,
water bottles, and a watch.  Not pictured: phone,
coolers, ice packs,extra water bottles, Nuun
(hydration product), shoes, anti-chafing products,
running shorts/socks/shoes/sports bra/
running tank, bandanas, deodorant etc!!!

Saturday, I will be doing a 16 mile run.  For those who are not aware of how far that is, that's 84,480 feet, 1,013,760 inches, or a really long distance.  At the pace my coach has asked me to run at, it should take me about 208 minutes (3 hrs and 28 minutes).  There is a lot of work that goes into these runs--and the entire week is a preparation for this run.  I have to watch everything I eat all week, to ensure it is food that is going to be agreeable with my system and is going to create the fuel I need to make these runs.  I have to go to bed early to ensure I've had enough sleep all week long. I spend time mapping out my route, combining that with figuring out when I will meet up with friends who are going to do several miles with me throughout the run.  I spend time packing supplies for the run (hydration products, making water bottles, packing ice, getting my carb sources) and the morning of the run, I drop coolers along my route so I can replenish my supplies at various points throughout the run.  I get up early on Saturday to get on all my gear, put my hair up in such a way that my hair won't be glued to my neck when I run, put on my anti-chafing products, and eat a breakfast to top off the carbs that I will need pre-run. During the run, there is the obvious work of doing the running, but also math to check my pace, figure out when I need to be hydrating and carbbing as to not go overboard or underboard on either--especially when it is 100 degrees outside.  And then checking in with "my people" every mile so they know I'm safe & haven't keeled over during the run!!  Thanks to M&M and Dozer for making sure I'm safe. 

The best $50 I ever spent

With all of these details in place, one of the most critical steps in the running prep is getting the IPOD ready.  3 and a half hours of running is a LONG time, and in order to keep myself moving consistently throughout, keeping some good beats is necessary!  My playlist is about 5 hours long at present time--I don't want to listen to the exact same songs every time.  Sometimes I enjoy a Glee song, others some angry songs, sometimes a song from one of my favorite musicals, sometimes a little R&B, and sometimes there is nothing that beats a good song you'd find on an oldies station.  The playlist is so eclectic that if anybody were to try to borrow the playlist, I'm sure only confusion would ensue.  From Disturbed to Wicked, Simon & Garfunkel to Justin Timberlake, Michael Jackson to Britney Spears--all of it creating the soundtrack of the run.

Music has always been a way of life for me.  A hobby.  A challenge.  A form of communication.  A way to make travelling on Fridays during rush hour more bearable.  And on long runs, it is a necessity to keep me moving and not staring at the inches, feet miles ticking by underneath my shoes.

What songs do you put on your playlist to keep you motivated?  I'm always looking for suggestions to add to my playlist and keep my feet moving!!