I remember a college class I took in college in which the professor gave us this quote, telling us this would be the theme of the class, which was called Psychology of the Exceptional Child. It was about looking at these kids not as "less than" the typical children, but looking at the various strengths in these students. We talked about how difficult it would be to be blind--and then she turned out all the lights in the classroom (it was a night class in winter--so it was pitch black)--and asked how difficult it would be to be blind now? It was so true!! Our barriers only stay our barriers as long as we are looking at them as such, but as soon as we change our perspective on them, they are no longer what is holding us back.
Look at the picture to the left. What do you see there? A young lady? Or an old woman? Can you see both? For those who can only see one, don't give up--look again, they are both there. I used this picture--and some others--with a client in session a few weeks ago, challenging him to think about changing perspectives. He hates having to meet with us and would rather be out playing with his friends. It has been made very clear to him that if he does not meet with us, he will be removed from the home and placed in a group home, due to the history of legal charges and probation violations he has acquired. We utilized this picture, along with some others, to promote discussion about changing his perspective. As long as he looks at us like a burden and people who are trying to keep him from living a fun life, he will continue to dread sessions and the 2 hours he is required to spend with us per day will be a daily punishment. With some discussion, he identified a new perspective: today is my last day and I need to live it like it is my last day "out," because if I miss another session, it will be my last day before I get locked up. Perhaps this is a more fatalistic view than what I had hoped for...I was hoping for something more along the lines of, "These people aren't too bad, I suppose I can make time for them in my schedule because they are trying to help me." But he was able to develop a changed perspective to help him navigate more clearly.Today, I challenge you to look at a situation you're facing that has been difficult, overwhelming, stressful and figure out how you can spin it so you are able to utilize new eyes to navigate this voyage. Often just a simple re-wording can change our attitude toward a situation. My Coach corrected me once when I said "I am never going to be good at yoga" and encouraged me, instead, to say "I am going to yoga to become better." What do you know? In the next few weeks, I was making progress because I changed my own perspective on the situation and allowed myself to find greater success and happiness. I have worked diligently to reduce any of the "always" and "never" statements I used to say. For those who have said, "I am never going to be in a relationship" or "I am always going to be fat" or "I will never be able to run a mile" or "I am always going to be a smoker," I tell you that you are correct in those statements--because you are convincing yourself it is true. Try some new eyes and navigate uncharted territories so you can arrive at a new destination. Embrace your new approach and allow good things to happen.
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