The final taper

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.  -Semisonic

I'm sure that several of you have checked here recently for the post-marathon report.  Since it was a marathon, you will get a marathon-length report about the marathon!!

I flew into WI and met my 2 lovely WI ladies for lunch.  I finally got to meet Baby Brooklyn, who was everything I'd dreamed and more.  If I die and there is a heaven, I'm pretty certain that it is sitting with LLR & ADBK/Brooklyn for an eternity!!  We had a nice dinner & I enjoyed day #1 of carb-loading out of state, complete with a pizza.  Then I headed back to Casa de Wulff for a little Parenthood episode with the folks, and then headed to bed--because the 2 naps I took while flying were clearly not enough sleep for this girl!

The next morning, I had to run some errands and stopped by my Dad's school to visit.  His 5th and 6th grade girls were on the edge of their seats with excitement about playing Hot Cross Buns and Mary Had a Little Lamb.  You may sense sarcasm, but there is none.  They were truly thrilled about it.  I then drove to visit another good friend at school and got to have a 30 minute catch-up session.  It was about 6 days, 23 hours and 30 minutes too short, but we did the best with what we had. :)   From there, it was time to head out to get the eyebrows waxed and then time to hit the road to go to see Gram.  Because going to see Gramp and Gram with fuzzy eyebrows would be wrong!

The week before the marathon, we had  a small scare with Gram when she went into the ER because she wasn't feeling well.  My sister and I talked and decided it would be best for us to go visit her together.  Riah agreed to cook (for the simple fact that if I did, we would all be dead now) and we both agreed to help Gram out, in addition to just keeping her company.  Along the way, I made a small detour in the city of Baraboo (the Circus World Museum is there--for anybody who read "Water for Elephants," much of the information obtained to write the book was provided by Baraboo's Museum) to stop and see Steph and kids--including her tiny newborn, Benji!!  I did attempt to kidnap him, but JC (Steph's Mom) manhandled me and Benji was safely returned.  Riah and I spent the night at Gram's BEAUTIFUL house and I headed out the next morning for Des Moines. 

The whole purpose in me choosing the 515 for the marathon was because I hadn't seen most of my Midwest friends in FAR TOO LONG, in addition to the fact that I wanted to return to Iowa as a new person and showcase my new self to the state in the form of a marathon.  Completely logical right?  When I arrived on Friday, Sarah and I kicked it for  bit, then headed to Target for some last-minute marathon-weekend needs (peanut butter, since it was confiscated at the airport, and water bottles for the race).  After that, I was reunited with my closest college friends in the form of Panchero's (YUM) and a pedi (hey, if my feet are supposed to pound the pavement for 26.2 miles, I think I've earned it, right?!).  I saw Sarah for all of 7.3 minutes at Christmas at the Albert Lea truck stop, and Nicole sometime over a year ago when she came to Winston for work for a few days.  I hadn't seen Fisher since before I moved to NC, June of 2009.  It was good to have our hearts in one location.  And isn't that Serbian boy, so handsome?!  That's Vlad, Colie's boy!  For those who are not familiar with Panchero's, it is similar to Moe's or Chipolte or Qdoba.  Only 100 times better.  Blair and Marlon, don't you dare try to say otherwise.  

Sarah and I then headed back to her house in order to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn on Saturday for an 8:00 AM chiropractor appointment in Iowa with Dr. Ole Oleson.  If that's not a good Midwestern name, I'm not sure what is.  All you Midwesterners are trying to picture him--and you're coming up with an old white-haired man who may or may not be wearing a Viking hat.  In order to assist you with your visualization process, please see the picture to the left--he is a rather handsome fellar if I do say so, myself! 

From there, we headed out to the downtown Des Moines Farmer's Market--one of my favorite things about the city (besides my people, of course!).  Food, organic fruits & veggies, cheese, salsas, baked goods, live music, and tree-hugging, granola-eating people everywhere!  My Misfits would fit it quite well at this Farmer's Market!  I bought myself an Iowa T-shirt and some puppy chow (an delectable treat unknown in the South!) to commemorate the occassion.  Sarah snapped some photos of some beautiful flowers that were on sale, as well. 

Next stop on the 515 tour:  Nelsen crew.  We popped by Leah's house.  Leah was so excited that I was coming that she decided to be my twin, complete with buyin a phone to match mine and wearing the exact same outfit.  This is what makes us Shoop Sista's, of course.  Leah and Josh just bought a brand new house, so we got to scope it, and because she (like everybody I now know) had an IPAD, I also imposed some Jim Gaffigan upon her.  HOT POCKETS anyone?  For those who don't know him, look him up ASAP on Youtube.  And try not to pee yourself. 

As my carb-loading spree needed to continue, we grabbed a little Zmarick's and headed home to enjoy this, while plotting our next step--t-shirt making fest for all of the cheering crew at the race!!  We spent several hours buying, planning, typing, printing, and ironing the shirts so  my Super Fans could be in matching threads (as all Super Fans should be, right?!).  I also did some packing for the race--which in itself is an artform and a math game, all rolled into one.  Then it was time for some Church and then some final carb-loading before the race!! 

Church was an interesting message--and perfectly timed (don't you love when that happens?).  It was called Confirmation for Grown-Ups or something to that effect--all about helping adult Christians in the ELCA church understand their faith.  They played some clips from The Book of Eli, which I have never seen, but one of the verses they focused on was all about giving your best...see picture of the screen to the right.  I had no idea how meaningful this verse would be in the next 18 hours.

From there, it was dinner time--below are pictures of all my people that joined us at Latin King (which is not a Hispanic Gang, or a Latin restaurant, but it is, in fact, Italian).  Enjoy the pics of my peeps below.



Nicki & Trac



Uncle Tom & Aunt Nancy

The Parents

Grandparents & Sister

My Child

Stunt Mom & Pop

Gina & Jessica



College Roommates and Forever Friends



Shoop Sista

Wulff Pack Cousins

Cousin Spencer on his 6th Birthday



Jennifer & Alexis



Vlad & Colie--
or as Gram said
"What's her name has the nicest husband."
  

After dinner, it was clearly time for bed--I had all my stuff for the next morning packed and ready to go--now the question was--would I sleep? The answer? Yes--for a total of 2 hours.  I would not exactly call that well-rested, but who can sleep before a day like tomorrow, really?!

Then I woke up bright and early with plenty of time to roll out of bed, braid my hair up, and get my head in the game. Several friends had sent me texts and even notes/cards to read before the race started, so I used these all to help me get focused. After some headwork, an email to coach, and some music to get me on track, it was time!!

Amy & the boys sent this picture

.

I was dressed and ready to go--as evidenced by this menacing picture.  I was putting on my biggest tough face--do I look like someone you want to mess with or not?  I'm guessing NOT, especially with that biohazard tape on my knee.

I got to the start line and first things were first:  Bathroom break.  The rules of running ANY race, especially a marathon, are that when you get to the race site, you go to the bathroom--port-a-potty or not--and not just one, but twice or three times.  I hit the port-a-john a couple times and worked on getting my head in the game.  I cranked my ipod and spent some quality time people-watching.  From there, it was time to line up--and wait for the gun to signal the start.  And I was off!!

I had orchestrated in advance that my friends be at various check points throughout the race to help me refill my liquids (Nuun), stock up on my carbs (gels and beans), put the  numbing junk on my knee, and raise my spirits.

As I came to mile 6, I found my first crew of Laura's Lunatics--Team Nelsen!

My knee began to hurt right about this point, but I kept on until mile 12 where I saw Trac & Nicki.

At 15, I was in tears and met up with Vlad & Nic, and then at 6 to Fisher who walked with me until 18 where my parents were, and we caught up with my Aunt/Uncle at the parking lot near 18. 

At 18, I had to recognize that I'd done my best job.  My Coach's words echoed in my head:  You are ready for this race, and if you knee is not, it is no reflection upon your ability to finish a marathon.  Words from church:  I have fought the good fight, I have finished my race, I have kept the faith--and that I did.  Today was not the day to finish the 26, but it was still a day of celebration.

Time for Mexican to do so!!

And then--time to roll out....18 miles of a marathon on a bum knee and 2 hours of sleep, and now a 6 hour drive back--then a few hours of sleep and flying back to the 336.

Thanks to everybody for all of your support along this journey.

This is my final entry in this blog--hope you all enjoyed the ride!!

1

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints and we are never the same again.  -Flavia

Since November 22, 2009, I have been on a journey to a healthier me.  While I have been working very hard and diligently on this journey, I have not been walking it alone.  Obviously the last 25 posts have detailed all of those who have been encouraging me along the way, but I have been sitting in the driver's seat of a car that has a GPS named Coach.  I know I'm doing the work, but she has guided me along every single step of the way.  In one of my early messages to her when she explored with me the idea of going out for a walk or maybe even a jog, I said to her, "I will NEVER do a marathon because it is just a bad idea and I think it is so hard on the body."  Well, Coach, you never EVER suggested that I do one, and I am here.

In just a matter of hours, I will be lined up at the start line.  I will be wearing all of my race day gear:  sports bra, sports tank, sports shorts, long-sleeved shirt, homemade race t-shirt, sweat-wicking socks, Brooks shoes, Fuel Belt loaded with carbs & Nuun, race ID band, watch, and tattoos on my arms that I made to remind me of my list of 26.  And while every single one of those 26 on the list are incredibly important in the growth and development of me as I am today, it is single-handedly the work of Coach that brought me to the decision to run this race today.

I saw a shirt today that said "Running:  Cheaper than therapy."  Well this is definitely true, but running for me (as it is Bridget) is more like the Prozac, and working with Coach is my therapy. 

Coach, I know I tell you all the time how much I appreciate you in my life, but I can honestly tell you that this past nearly 2-years of working with you has empowered me to make life-changing and life-saving decisions in my life, and I have become a person I always knew I could be.  Someday we will have to "break up" because someday I just won't need you as a Coach anymore.  But when that sad day comes, I will always know that you have been a friend and have, as the quote says, left permanent prints on my heart and in my life.  I hope someday we can run a race together in the literal sense--not in the metaphorical sense or the "you're running one in Baltimore the same weekend I'm running one in Des Moines" sense. 

If anybody wants to read up on Coach Lynn, feel free to check her out on her own site.  And feel free to tell her how amazing she is--I'm proof of her work.

Thank you, Coach, for everything.  And I mean everything.  The last mile--when I'm dying, I'm crying, my legs think they are going to give out and I want  nothing more than to puke or collapse--that mile is for you.  Not cuz I want you to have me at my worst, but because I will picture you on my shoulder, cheering me on the whole way and pushing me one step further than I ever thought I could go. 

2

Have a little faith and a little anti-inflammatories and you'll be just fine. -Dr. Damien.

Since July 1, 2011, I have spent an hour every week with a man that changed my life.  He's tall, dark, handsome and even has a bit of an accent.  Every girl's dream, right?  Sorry ladies--he's taken.  But it hasn't stopped our weekly dates!  Um, I mean, appointments.

Dr. Damien Rudolfo is a Chiropractor in Greensboro.  He is trained in Active Release Techniques.  I can't tell you much of the scientific end of this, but I can tell you it involved soft tissue work, a significant amount of pain (while its being treated) and an amazing relief (after the treatment).  He's got a sweet secretary, Victoria, who has joined me for a couple Zumba classes and is now hooked.  He's also got a "wing man," Matt, who is in school right now so that he can become like "The Great Damien." 

While this all sounds rather like an infomercial, I am writing this because I can say, in all honesty, that I would not be where I'm at in my marathon training today if it weren't for this amazing crew.  I have spent many hours with them, at this point, and am making sure I'm getting the most out of my insurance this year.  When I'm in pain and I call, they have me in within hours.  When I'm scared about the upcoming marathon, they give me all the confidence I need.  And when I'm catching a plane in an hour, they send me to the Midwest adjusted & prepared. 

Doc, Matthew, Victoria--you guys are all lifesavers and have given me the strength and brought me less pain so that I can hit the ground running in the morning--for all 26.2 miles.  And the 2nd mile goes to you, my friends. 

Victoria, The Doc, La, Matt

For those who are in Triad area and are thinking about the back/leg/neck/shoulder/anything pain you've got going on, go check out my friends at Healing Hands Chiropractic.  Tell them I sent you--it won't save you any money but it makes me sound cooler.

5

It takes a whole village to raise a child. -African Proverb

While many may consider me the village idiot (I don’t know that I could argue), I’m also a village-raised child. Since I was young, I was magnetically attracted to caring people. I can’t even tell you how many “Mothers” I have had in life. While I was birthed by one mother, many others have mothered me along the way. As I’ve grown into adulthood (OMG have I mentioned how scary 30 is?!), I have learned more about mothering myself and have been welcomed with open arms into others’ families.

 

As I sit back and reflect upon the families that have taken me in as one of their own over the years, I am astounded by the number of families that I have been fortunate enough to be a part of for some period in time.  Tonight, I'm going to bed in a city where my friends' parents sleep on the other side of town, and when I saw them earlier today, I called them Mom and Dad.  Yesterday, I was introduced as a daughter (not by one of my parents).  I always appreciate and love the family with which I am biologically connected, but there is also a sense of love and appreciation for others. 

 

For the purposes of anonymity, I won't mention names, but to the Mothers, Fathers, and friends out there who support me to the very end, I appreciate all the love and encouragement you can offer. 

 

Mile 5 goes out to all the non-family Family I have out in this world.  Love to you all. 

3

Yes, blogging is entertainment. It is performance. Each blog post a show, sometimes an opera, sometimes a 30 second commercial. Like a show, it may start with a bang, lead you along from song to song, have a great climatic moment, then leave the audience wanting more. -Lorelle Van Fossen

This is an entry where I’m going to sound ancient. I do remember when gas cost less than a dollar and school lunch was only a buck. I remember using the Apple 2GS in school and having to turn in hand-written final copies of papers. I may have walked uphill both ways to school and barefoot in the school, no less. But I never imagined that I would one day keep a blog. Today’s mile 4 shout out goes to all of those who have ever bothered to read even a single post, for those who have followed loyally every day, and those who have commented at any given point. I know I have followers all over the US, in Belgium and Spain, and maybe even Rosa in her foreign lands. A friend of mine asked me when I started this what my intentions were in keeping a blog. I started it to share my story and help to motivate others. It doubled in purpose as it provided me some accountability. Little did I know that it would also provide me with motivation and help as the responses that I got have kept me going—not only in blogging but in staying motivated to push forward with this marathon training—which, honestly, can be SLIGHTLY overwhelming at times! Mile 4, my friends, is for those who have followed Embracing Gray.

4

"I get by with a little help from my friends. -The Beatles

Throughout the past months of blogging, I have mentioned on several occasions how critical having a workout buddy has been for me. Mile 5 shout out goes out to all the friends I have made working out, and those friends who have spend time with me while working out. There have been friends who have gone running with me (hill repeats at Smith Mountain Lake, Military Park, jogging around France, Owl’s Roost Trail and Tippecanoe Trail in the 262) and those who have joined me at the gym (Centergy, Zumba, Power, Yoga and Spin). There have been friends who I have made while at the gym, or those whom I have chatted with while at a race or on the trails. There are friends I have made while dripping with sweat and out of breath, working hard to “get ripped.” And there are those who have joined me for a race (Run for the Haw, Charlotte 1/2 Marathon, Autism Walk, and this weekend, the Des Moines Marathon) or competition just to be a good support. Mile 5 is for every single workout buddy I have made and everyone of those working out around me, helping to encourage me and hold me accountable. This is also a shout out for those workout buddies who live far away and have been working out with me from afar. Nicole, Funny & ABC, I specifically thank you for all your help, encouragement & advice you’ve offered all along! I hope many more of you will join me in the future for a race or a class!!

6

Your biggest challenge isn't someone else.  It's the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells "can't"but you don't listen.  You just push harder.  And then you hear the voice whisper "can."And you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are. -Runner's World

 

Yet again, I’ve fallen behind a couple days. Good thing I have a 3 hour layover in Atlanta to get caught up! I suppose if the airport security is going to steal my peanut butter from me, I can work to find the positives that have still come from the situation—getting caught up on here!

Last April, I completed my first half-marathon in Charlotte, NC with Crizz. That night, I went home and packed my bags to go to France to visit my little sister. When I got back, Crizz and I had lunch and she mentioned that there was another half-marathon (this time it was a trail run instead of a road run) that weekend. So I signed up and dove right in. 2 half-marathons in 3 weeks. While many thought I was crazy (and I couldn’t really argue with them), training for the half-marathon had been fun. Every Friday night, Meggie would make dinner for Crizz and I so we could load up on some carbs. Saturday, Crizz and I would get together and run—Crizz in my left blind spot and keeping a 10 minute pace. Running the second half-marathon without Crizzle was tough because we had been running together every week for the past couple of months, but she and Crizz Whizz (her son) came out to cheer me on and hold my carbs/liquids so I could refill.

Imagine, if you will, the challenges I experienced in deciding I would run a marathon, knowing this would be a solo mission. I was used to approaching hills with Crizz and working to creatively string together the most interesting words to bless those hills out. I had enjoyed the routine of having a friend there to chat with during our water breaks. Most of all, I knew that the accountability we provided one another was critical—I wasn’t going to stop if she was there and she wasn’t going to stop if I was there.

When I received an email for a group I’d signed up for on Facebook, Triad Frontrunners, informing me of a couple folks who were getting together to run on a Saturday in June, I was unsure about whether or not I wanted to do this. I spoke about it with a few friends. I didn’t like group runs because I didn’t like keeping pace with others—the one time I did it, I was with people who kept a pace about 1 minute faster than I did so I was dying. I didn’t want to run with strangers. Really, I just wanted to run with Crizzle and nobody else.

 

Then I recalled a commitment I made to myself about trying new things...so I decided to take the plunge.

 

I met up with Bridget the next morning.  Hayden showed up late and had locked himself out of his house so he couldn't stay.  Bridget and I set off for a nice & easy 7 mile run.  I had set out that morning to go for a run and to not be a punk--I needed to put myself out there and try some different things when running.  Coach had encouraged it several times and that woman is NEVER wrong, so I gave it a shot. 

 

Bridget, Hayden & La--out for a Sat AM run

But by the time I left, I had made a new friend and couldn't wait to run with her again.  Bridget, Hayden and I went running again after that.  I would meet up with them after I'd done 10 miles or so on my long run days, and on my short run days would meet up, as well.  Prior to this, they joked that they were "married" and were "running husband and wife."  I'm not sure what it made me when I joined their "marriage," but I know it made me happy! 

 

Hayden and I have also Zumba'd together--I still owe him a Tuesday night Yoga class and I swear I'll pay up, buddy.  Bridget and I have enjoyed deep discussions regarding religion, cooked out, and enjoyed scary movie night. 

 

If I had to lose Crizzle, I'm glad something good came out of it--that good was my new running buddies, Hayden & Bridget.  I love you both and my 6 mile point is for you!  Bridget, thanks for all your encouragement and love and music along the way!!  XOXO

7

Pain is weakness leaving the body. -Unknown

Any of us who have taken Power class certainly know this is true!!  The bicep track, in particular, apparently has a lot of weakness leaving my body!!

#8 in the countdown was for the instructors and today's is #7 for all the gym buddies I have made in these classes.  The first classes I took were the water classes.  I was the youngest in this class by probably 20 or 30 years--literally.  Water classes get a bad rap--that because it is all old ladies that it isn't a workout.  I challenge any fool who says this to join me for a class sometime--I would walk away from those classes sore and exhausted!  And those old ladies are a force to be reckoned with!  From there, I got the courage to try some other classes--pilates, Zumba, yoga, spin, and then Power. 

I always have joked that the water class ladies were my fan club, but I didn't actually make any friends in class until this sweet redhead who always lifted in my left blind spot offered to set up for me if I was ever going to be late to class.  This kind offer from her led to us exchanging phone numbers, then going to coffee, and now spending at least one night per week together when I tutor her sons, she feeds me, and we visit--in addition the daily phone calls/texts to check in with one another and make sure that we are not taking crap from anyone.  2 of the other good friends I've made in these classes are instructors.  The Lovely Latina who leads up Zumba and the sweetest, motheriest person I've met in NC.  The Lovely Latina not only makes Zumba fun, but any other class you attend with her as she's hootin', hollarin', dancin', and cheerin' everyone on--and all while using her crazy Massachusetts accent.  As for the NC Mother, I can honestly say that I know she is one in a million because special attention was given when a heart as big as hers was created.  She's not only the most physically flexible person I've ever met, but one of the most giving and committed individuals I've ever known.

Ames, LaTina & Mom C, mile 7 is for you.  I've enjoyed our movie dates, tutoring nights, book exchanges, hot pocket references, church visits, life discussions, and hugs.  You're all rather "newbies" in my life, but have become an integral part of my training and support system that have brought me here today.  I will never hear "Hot Blooded" and not think of you!  You is smart.  You is kind.  You is important.  <3

8

Tough times don't last.  Tough people do.  -Unknown

I have spent a considerable amount of time in the past year and a half--nearly 2 years--working to become healthier in every aspect of the word.  While I give myself the credit of doing the work, I also can recognize those around me who have assisted me in this path.  The instructors at the gym are some of those people.  A couple of them have become friends, and others I only know their names, but all have created the accountability in class that I needed to push myself along this path.

This is a short entry that describes, very minimally, the appreciation I have for the teachers who give up time to physically challenge themselves while leading us to improved strength, flexibility, and healthy lifestyles.  David, Carolyn, Val, Tina, Tiff, Patti, and any others who I've missed, thanks for all you do.  When the marathon is over and I get to return to "normal activities," I'll see you all back in action!

9

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. -Albert Schweitzer

Down to single digits--how insane!  Terrifying, exciting, nerve-wracking--all at the same time!

I mentioned "The Misfits" in several posts throughout my blogging history, including the one for day 10 on the countdown.  One of these Misfits, in particular, gets her own day to herself.

In January of 2011, I had given up hope of ever feeling content here in NC.  I had accomplished great things, enjoyed my job, and was becoming healthier, but I was lonely.  After some serious self-reflection and a few therapy sessions on the sofa upstairs with Meg, I realized that this loneliness was self-inflicted as I was engaging in a behavior that in therapy we call "Compulsive Repetition."  Without any psychotherapy mumble jumble, in short what it means is that the unresolved issues that we have within us, we continue to consciously and subconsciously resolve by recreating these situations in our lives--but until we realize it, we continue recreate this negatively, rather than conquering it.  For myself, this translated into developing one-sided friendships where there was no reciprocity, and I was allowing myself to be used.   I chose to internalize a message that "I am not worthy of a healthy/positive friendship," and I compulsively validated this through my choices.  Upon recognizing this, I decided instead of continuing this clearly unhealthy pattern, I would just NOT have friends.  Obviously this was the answer right?

We had just hired a new girl at work--I didn't know anything about her except that she turned red easily & had a son.  Meg had asked me to help her out with some administrative responsibilities and I begrudgingly agreed.  While visiting with the new, red chick, she mentioned that she'd heard that I ran and that she would like to run with me sometime.  "I've heard this before," I thought to myself--and dismissed it.  Again a week or so later, she said it.  Again, I dismissed it.  As I had decided not to have friends, I had a lot of alone time and spent some time thinking, and decided I would let her know my running schedule and if she choose to join me, she could--but I was not putting myself out there to actually offer an invitation because she could say no, and I could not handle that rejection.  I texted her my run plans for the week, and got a text back saying she wasn't going to be able to join because of other obligations and her spin class she planned to attend.  "There goes that," I thought to myself and moved on. 

Much to my surprise, I got a text back later that day.  She said she decided to skip spin and wanted to join me on a trail run, and wondered if she could bring her dog.  My response was "As long as I don't have to touch it."  The next morning, I drove out to Bur Mill and got out to stretch.  Her car wasn't here and I knew exactly what that meant:  a text would be coming saying that she couldn't run and I would be flying solo.  I wasn't even disappointed because I had such low expectations of others, the perfect way to avoid hurt and disappointment, right? 

And then I saw a silver VW pull in, and she waved.  Her doofy-looking dog jumped out of the car and we set off to do a 5 mile run.  This was the first time in my life that I used an athletic activity to get to know a person, and over the course of the next 5 miles, we spent plenty of time sniffing, spitting (it was cold out-it was Feb!), and talking. 

This was the beginning of a new chapter in life.  This 5 mile run turned into a couple more runs, and a plan to train for a half-marathon together, and Friday carb-loading nights before our runs, and movie nights, and meeting her family, and meeting her extended family, and a road trip to Wilson, and sharing tears and heartache, and laughing hysterically about step-fathers, and meeting her crew (the Misfits) and me finding security, finding happiness, finding home. 

I value every single person that has come into my life for the good or the bad.  I love every single person I've blogged out in this count down.  And I have about 15 "best friends," which clearly means I just have good friends.  But Crizzler, your entrance into my life allowed me to believe that I could make positive/healthy friends and allowed me to build the confidence and support system I've needed to bring myself to where I am today. 

Crizzly Bear, mile 9 is for you--the only thing that would make Mile 9 better would be running it alongside of you (and miles 1-8 and 10-26.2, as well).  I can't wait to do our next half together.

10

How would you like to be a Spotted Elephant?  Or a Choo-Choo with square wheels on your caboose?
Or a water pistol that shoots -- jelly?  We're all misfits!  How would you like to be a bird that doesn't fly? I swim!  Or a cowboy who rides an ostrich?  Or a boat that can't stay afloat?  We're all misfits.
-Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer Movie

Back to playing catch-up--and again, I thank you!!

Hil, Urr, Holl, Ash, Crizz, La

Earlier this year, I was introduced into a very prestigious and loving group of characters, the Misfits.  This crew has become the most reliable and active crew of people I have belonged to since coming to NC.  Since I met them, our Misfit Gatherings (also known as "Wadies Night") have entailed lots of humor, stories that fall under the Vegas Rule (what happens at Wadies Night stays at Wadies night), and memories a-plenty.  We have done trips to the lake, days of swimming, movie night at home movie night at the theater, kicking it with Michael Jackson, eating interestingly-named ice cream flavors, and finding any reason under the sun to have a party--most recently a birthday.  This group of tree-hugging, hummus-eating, reusable-bag using  hippies have shown me nothing short of unconditional love, acceptance and support.  I remember while floating in the water at the lake, realizing that I hadn't felt this happy and "at home" within myself at any point in my life.

La, Baby Mama, Schweddy Balls Man,
Caron, Crizz

This crew came along right at the time at which I thought NC was going to be nothing more than a 2-year pit stop, and that I would NEVER make a lasting friend.  When I thought I was an island of my own, I found the Island of my Misfits and swam ashore.  It has a more breath-taking and lovely view than any other shore that an anchor has been dropped.

Mile 10 is for you, Wadies! 

11

In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you. - Yakov Smirnoff

When I came to NC, I made a commitment to myself that I would stay for a minimum of 2 years. I kid you not when I say that for the first year I was here, I could tell you at any given time how long I had been here, and how long until I left.  I enjoyed many things about NC--warmer weather, year-round flowers, civilization, diversity--but I didn't have a single friend.  Correction--I hadn't made a single friend that I spent time with.  I had a great team at work, and M&M were always here--literally right next door (in the same house!), but I hadn't made any friends that I spent social time with.

In June of 2010, I had enough of the beginning of NC summer heat and bought a gym membership.  While it is overpriced, this decision has been one of the best I've made since I've been here--for both physical health and social health reasons.  As a part of the promotion that was going on, I got a free training session or got some discounted ones or something.  I was then contacted by a foreigner with a thick accent.

Russia

Who would've known that this 6 foot tall Russian beauty queen would become my first friend?  Now--don't be fooled by  her smile--she is as evil as they come.  I'm serious!  If you've watched any of the TV shows with the trainers on there that are in your face, consider those child's play.  "Laurindos, move your ass!" was tame.  It was the exact thing I needed to help me start my strength training.

June 26, 2010, I had planned to spend my entire day sulking in my bedroom to "celebrate" my 1 year mark in NC.  Halfway there, I told myself--until these thrilling plans were interrupted by the Russian who invited me out to a picnic at a local winery.  While I don't drink, I couldn't help but wonder if this outing may be slightly more exciting than the 24-hour hibernation I had planned.  I graciously accepted.  I spent the entire afternoon with the Russian ladies and their non-Russian husbands--and they were speaking in Russian nearly the entire time.  Not only was I in love with hearing this beautiful language, but I was amazed at the irony:  I felt like I "belonged" while sitting around a table with people who weren't even speaking English--when I'd been here a year and hadn't found it even once in the company of Americans! 

With the Russian

Russia had her birthday last weekend and we celebrated it at her home, in a house filled with Russians--and this time some new Americans and a few other nationalities--and despite the house full of guests she had, she still made time to visit with me.

You know I love you, Russia, but I hope you know how much you have meant to me--as a trainer and as a friend.  I have taken your advice many times and I know you are listening to the advice I have given you.  Arbuz!

12

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.  -Richard Bach

Someone told me long ago that the most untrue lines in the constitution are as follows:  "All men are created equal."  The truth is that we are NOT all created equal--some of us were born into homes with 2.5 children, a picket fence and a dog and cat.  Others were born in a cardboard box, and others in a mansion.  Some of us were born perfectly healthy, others with allergies, others with some serious medical issues or a family history that will impact us permanently.  Some of us were wanted when we were born, and some of us were not.

One of the most amazing lessons I have learned is that while some of us were handed life on a silver platter, those who were not have the most amazing strength and resiliance.  I read somewhere that after Katrina came through, there was a huge rash of suicides that occurred--and most of these were those of middle-class individuals; ironically, this was the population that was impacted the least (in numbers), but the lower-class individuals did not have the huge suicide influx.  I would propose that this is because the lower-class individuals have lived a life of loss, hardship and oppression--which has given them the ability to navigate these ever-so-familiar situations. 

Over 10 years ago, I met a little girl who was born and raised in a situation that was far different than mine.  She has experienced challenges that most of us would never dream of and losses that no one should ever experience.  Despite all this, she finds the courage to get up and keep going every day.  While there is no genetic relationship between us, I refer to her as "my kid" and am proud of the fact that she has never given up, and has kept in touch with me, even after I moved across the country.  I will get to see her next weekend, and hope she will join my family and I for the holidays again this year.

If I can find even an ounce of that strength to push forward when my body starts to ache during race day, I know I will be able to push through!

Miss you, kiddo!!  XOXO

13

Chose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. – Confucius

Holy buckets--we are getting so close to single digits.  How exciting & simultaneously terrifying!

One thing that all who know me can agree on is my incredible work ethic.  Unless my arm is literally falling off my body or the wheels have been torn from my car, I will get to work every day and I will work hard while I am there.  I often joke about what a slacker I am in the workplace, but this is only because I know how untrue it is. 

Since moving from IA to NC, I have taken a completely different attitude toward work and have found a job that aligns with this new approach:  work to live, rather than live to work.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job and I know I am good at it, but I have found that work is only a part of life, not all of life. 

Today's 13th day of the countdown goes out to all of those with whom I work:  My bosses who are supportive, flexible, and understand my required supervision style; my coworkers who help keep the workplace afloat financially & positive otherwise; and our collaterals/referral sources who keep job security for myself & my co-workers. 

I have worked in a job where waking up every morning was one big nightmare that would last 12 hours, and I'd get up and do it all over again.  I've worked in a job where every step was a social minefield, wondering if you would get written up, have your responsibility/workload doubled without pay, and where I was taken advantage of daily. 

A few of us out at a local baseball game--
FPS team bonding!

I am now in a job where I get to make my own schedule, I am allowed time to myself, I am empowered to make decisions, I am supported when I request it, I am valued, and I am truly a part of a cooperative team.  As a result, I am able to provide the most quality of services with colleagues who do the same, and we continue to turn out successes in the community, and keep our favorite workers at DJJ, DSS and the schools coming back for more!   We recently moved from a small office to a larger office to accommodate all the people we have--our team of employees took turns coming in on nights and weekends to help paint, put together furniture, clean, and move.  While this took time and sweat, we all had fun working together and taking ownership in our new space....which, I might add, is amazing!!

It is good to know that I will be able to take a small trip to the Midwest to do a race, while knowing my clients are in good hands and that my teammates have got my back.  Now if only our computer program for e-charting would be HALF as amazing as we are!  :)