New perspective

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but having new eyes.  -Marcel Proust

I remember a college class I took in college in which the professor gave us this quote, telling us this would be the theme of the class, which was called Psychology of the Exceptional Child.  It was about looking at these kids not as "less than" the typical children, but looking at the various strengths in these students.  We talked about how difficult it would be to be blind--and then she turned out all the lights in the classroom (it was a night class in winter--so it was pitch black)--and asked how difficult it would be to be blind now?  It was so true!!  Our barriers only stay our barriers as long as we are looking at them as such, but as soon as we change our perspective on them, they are no longer what is holding us back.

Look at the picture to the left.  What do you see there?  A young lady?  Or an old woman?  Can you see both? For those who can only see one, don't give up--look again, they are both there.  I used this picture--and some others--with a client in session a few weeks ago, challenging him to think about changing perspectives.  He hates having to meet with us and would rather be out playing with his friends.  It has been made very clear to him that if he does not meet with us, he will be removed from the home and placed in a group home, due to the history of legal charges and probation violations he has acquired.  We utilized this picture, along with some others, to promote discussion about changing his perspective.  As long as he looks at us like a burden and people who are trying to keep him from living a fun life, he will continue to dread sessions and the 2 hours he is required to spend with us per day will be a daily punishment.  With some discussion, he identified a new perspective:  today is my last day and I need to live it like it is my last day "out," because if I miss another session, it will be my last day before I get locked up.  Perhaps this is a more fatalistic view than what I had hoped for...I was hoping for something more along the lines of, "These people aren't too bad, I suppose I can make time for them in my schedule because they are trying to help me."  But he was able to develop a changed perspective to help him navigate more clearly.

Today, I challenge you to look at a situation you're facing that has been difficult, overwhelming, stressful and figure out how you can spin it so you are able to utilize new eyes to navigate this voyage.  Often just a simple re-wording can change our attitude toward a situation.  My Coach corrected me once when I said "I am never going to be good at yoga" and encouraged me, instead, to say "I am going to yoga to become better."  What do you know?  In the next few weeks, I was making progress because I changed my own perspective on the situation and allowed myself to find greater success and happiness.  I have worked diligently to reduce any of the "always" and "never" statements I used to say.  For those who have said, "I am never going to be in a relationship" or "I am always going to be fat" or "I will never be able to run a mile" or "I am always going to be a smoker," I tell you that you are correct in those statements--because you are convincing yourself it is true.  Try some new eyes and navigate uncharted territories so you can arrive at a new destination.  Embrace your new approach and allow good things to happen. 

The DL on Food--in Gray

When I am hungry, I eat what I love.  When I'm bored, I do something I love.  When I'm lonely, I connect with someone I love.  When I feel sad, I remember that I am loved. -Michelle May

People often ask me what it is that I eat and don't eat, and want me to draw up a menu for them with a "eat this, not that" attitude.  When I began the journey to lose weight, I certainly was looking for just that--and I had it.  1200-1400 calories a day with 35 grams of protein and 25 grams of fiber.  There are several problems with this:  It only works as long as it is followed, it makes me want to eat everything I "can't" eat list (on the can't list was peanut butter, candy, any snacky items, chips, etc.), and made me feel as though I was being punished.  After a suggestion from Coach Lynn, I bought a book that I am suggesting to you all today, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat, by Michelle May, M.D. 

My black and white approach to eating seemed to work--for a while--until I found myself running full speed into a brick wall of emotions I had not planned for, nor expected, and I started to feel out of control.  The black and white food approach allows us to feel in control, but not necessarily in charge.  With Dr. May's book, I was able to address several errors in thinking:  That there is no such thing as good and bad foods, that it is possible to lose weight without living by "rules," and that there is a way to relearn healthy eating patterns----eating when one is hungry (called instinctive eating), rather than when one is stressed, bored, or 4 hours have passed.  And when one has gone overboard for a day, it is okay--no need to feel guilty, but instead problem-solve what to do differently next time.

Without rewriting the entire book here, I can tell you that she provides lots of information about how to regain healthy eating cycles, how to deal with various food triggers, what types of foods to include in your daily intake to allow for ensuring your nutritional needs are met, and she even provides a whole chapter of healthy foods that her family enjoys (pizza, Mexican, stew, brunch ideas, etc.). 

I will share with you one of the greatest analogies from the book--again, this is her work, not mine.  If you are out of milk, you go to the grocery store to pick up a gallon of milk.  If you are cold, you put on a sweatshirt or a blanket.  If you are out of gas in the car, you go to the local gas station and fill up your tank.  But going to the grocery store for a blanket, or putting on a blanket to fill your gas tank--those ideas are illogical.  So why is it when we are emotional that we eat--rather than dealing with the emotions?  Eating is to provide nutrition & sustenance, not a means to help with emotions.  Additionally, if your gas tank is full, you certainly would not pull up to the gas pump (especially with gas at $3.66/gallon!) and dump the gas onto the ground.  That would be wasteful-both of resources and money.  So if we are eating when we are not hungry, we are filling our own "tanks" (stomachs) when it isn't necessary.

So what do I eat?  Whatever I want.  I eat peanut butter every day.  I love cheese.  But with the knowledge I have gained, I make sure to ask myself WHY I am eating before I do, have learned to recognize hunger when it comes, and I make sure that what I put into my body is going to meet my needs & make me feel better (i.e. I will be less hungry if I eat wheat bread instead of white because there is more fiber, and eating fiber in general makes me feel better because it helps to cleanse the system regularly). 

Feel free to check out Dr. May's site or order her book--read it slowly and take it all in.  It is a great guidebook to help you navigate the world of gray in your eating habits.

Motivation 101, Part 5

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm not a fan of reinveting the the wheel, so I'm going to share a video with you today that was shared with me several years ago.  Some of you may  have seen it before, but for those who have not, I hope you enjoy it.

What are some things that you are good at--that if you  put in the extra effort, you could be amazing? It isn't about being better than others, it is about being the best you can be. 

Today is short and sweet--hope you are motivated on this Monday morning!

Turn, turn, turn

Don't cry because it is over.  Smile because it happened.  -Dr. Suess

Many people have told me that they believe that things happen for a reason. In my 29 years of existence, I have never been able to grasp this concept, and as a result, it is one that I have given up on. Instead, I have decided that sometimes crappy stuff just happens—not for any particular reason except that crappy stuff happens in life—but that within those crappy things, I can find purpose. I can try to make sense of it all, and try to walk away from it stronger than when I first approached it. Let me be clear to say that I don’t walk into crappy situations thinking, “man, I am looking forward to getting stronger as a result of the significant pain I am about to experience,” but I do work to understand and accept the situation, allowing myself to grow stronger as a result.

Crappy stuff happens. There are moron drivers who are going to rear-end us. People we love are going to die. We are going to get sick on the one day we wanted to be healthy. Injuries during training will occur. Natural disasters will steal our homes, belongings, even loved ones. Jobs will be lost. Our hearts will be broken.

And then comes the noise—the overwhelming, slap-in-the-face of reality, when that crappy stuff happens. The reality that we try to escape when we go to sleep, waking up hoping it was only a dream—but it was not. The tornado within our hearts rages like a fury and destroying any logical thought and hope we had. The point at which we are not sure if we should explode, implode, or hide. Where our heads are stuck in a vacuum and we cannot find the way out.

After the noise—silence. When the tears are dry, the anger is gone, and we are left with only the echoing sadness of our hearts.

And that is where the journey to healing and strength can occur. When the raging storm slows to a drizzle.

To everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven, it says in Ecclesiastes (or in a song by the Byrds, if you prefer that).

Whether preparing to say good-bye to a car after 8 years, or a 41 day life chapter, or a life-long dream, the sun will still rise tomorrow and the world will still go on turning.

Today I will work to find purpose. To look at life through new lenses. To smile because it happened, rather than cry because it is over.

We have all been here before.  And we will all be here again.  How do you do move forward when the silence comes?  How do you work to find purpose?  In the stroke of a brush, the strum of a string, the step of a foot?

Zumba madness!!

The journey between who you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.  - Barbara De Angelis

For those who missed the memo, I am a white girl.  See exhibit A to the right--straight up white girl.  Within my whiteness, there are several truths that I hold to be self-evident:  I can't wear the color yellow, I can't rap (even if I try), and I SURE can't dance.  My sister, of the same biological make-up, does wear yellow, doesn't rap, and can move like she was adopted from somewhere south of the border.  How does this happen?  I have yet to figure it out, but again--it is a truth that is self-evident. 

Despite this final truth, I decided several months ago to try a crazy thing I had heard about, Zumba class.  You may recall a brief entry about this several weeks ago.  I was terrified of this--I was born into a musical family and I am rhythmic, but somehow my musical fingers have not spread their abilities to anything else in my body--namely my hips.  Give me a guitar, I can strum it--a drum, I can beat it--heck, I can sing anything (but won't sing country!).  But put on a dance CD and my butt won't leave the chair.  Ask any friends or relatives who have gotten married in the last 29 years--I am a great benchwarmer!!



Have I made my point yet about my inability to dance?  The image of a 90 year old doing hopscotch is less painful than the idea of me dancing. 



Don't be fooled--she may look white but they don't
call her "LaTina" for nothin'!

So the day I tried Zumba, I went in with a LOT of self-talk:  don't worry about anybody else; just focus on the instructor's feet; if it is awful it will only last 55 minutes; if nothing else, you will sweat and get in some cardio.  When I walked out of the class, I had fallen in love.  Not only did I sweat (as was the goal) and did some cardio, I had a good time!!  The music was fun & loud--and in the few seconds I looked around at the others, most of them couldn't dance either--but we were all having fun!! 

Who can rock sweats?
TINA!

In my marathon training, Coach Lynn has warned me that I may have to scale back on some of my other workouts because of the amount of running I will have to do throughout the week and the recovery time my body may need.  I DREAD the thought of this, but have already told myself that the weights class can be scaled back (not deleted) and Zumba won't go.  I make time each week to go.  The face I started with has changed--now it is my girl Tina who rocks every class with the biggest smile on her face.  She also hooked me up with some free passes so anybody who wants to give it a shot next Wednesday morning, hit me up!  I am going to make my way up to Breakin' Out in Greensboro, as well.

For those who are not from the Triad, please consider hitting up a class somewhere in your area--I am certain you will walk out at least having had fun.  And my advice about watching the feet--totally true!!  I've been going to Tina's class for a month now and can FINALLY look at something other than her feet the entire class.  It takes time, but you'll get a good work out and will have fun.  And it isn't like trying to go dancing at the club--it isn't a meat market, it is a class!!  Check out the video: 

So what are you waiting for--get out and give it a try--let me know how it went & if you're headed back anytime soon!!

She's a Brick House, She's Mighty Mighty...

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose. -Tehyi Hsieh

Happy Thursday morning, readers!! I hope you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as the weekend is in sight. I, for one, am ready for it! Then again, I could live in a perpetual state of weekends if it paid the bills.  I’m on a high this morning after having a great night, surrounded by 7 of the loveliest ladies I have ever met. As a result, we will focus again today on those with whom we surround ourselves.

Several weeks ago, I was baby-sitting my friend’s adorable 3 year old. At bedtime, the routine consists of crawling into bed with him, reading a book, snuggling for a couple minutes, tucking him in, and turning out the light. Of course, this is the best part of the entire night (not that racing motorcycles or watching Blue’s Clue’s isn’t great, of course). The book we read that night was “The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs.”   It is the story we all know being told from the perspective of Mr. Wolf (not to be confused with Mr. Wulff—my father & uncles). The Wolf says that he was baking and needed a cup of sugar, so he headed to his neighbor’s house. While there, he felt his nose itch and he sneezed, knocking over the house of straw. As he doesn’t want to be wasteful, he eats the pig before heading to the next house, built of straw. Of course, the Wolf still needs his sugar, so he again asks for a cup of sugar, but then feels his nose itch and sneezes again, blowing over the house of sticks. He can’t allow this meat to go to waste, so he gobbles up this pig and then heads to the final house, made of brick. You know how the rest of the story goes—he “sneezes” again on the house of brick, and it does not fall over. He is upset by the rudeness of this pig, who won’t answer the door, and is arrested after trying to break down the door. I’m sure you all tuned in today to hear the story of the 3 little pigs again, right?

The story really got me thinking, though. As a kid, I remember the “moral of the story” being that one should not use straw or sticks to build a house, and don’t take short cuts—just do the work. Rereading it with this little guy, however, I read it with an entirely new perspective. Without a strong foundation (brick house), anything will be able to knock me over.   And I have definitely seen this to be true--because while I do have "one of those days," I can maneuver through those and I am still standing.  I do have the strongest foundation I've ever had, and that is why nothing can knock me over.  My foundation is filled with bricks from all over--

• New running buddies from running groups
• A sweet Mom who doesn't let an eyelid injury keep her down--from work or from caring for others
• A "Latina" who can shake it with a smile & ask for advice fearlessly
• An Island of Misfits--who welcomed me in and let me "Fit In" more than I have ever  have
• A beautiful, perfectionist workaholic, considering scaling back to live and love life
• The best teammate & bruthuh ever, and bosses who always have my back
• A girl from a tiny Iowa town, now taking on Spain
• My college girls who have been there for me every day for the last 11 years
• My "Upstairs Family" who gave me the encouragement I needed to make my way to NC
• My 19 year old kid who stresses me out and makes me proud every day
• My SISTAH who is 9 years younger than me but can still be my BFF
• A friend who always ate her vegetables as a kid and is now teaching her own baby to do the same
• An English teacher who taught me not just how to write, but how to believe in and challenge myself
• An amazing family who has been there every day for me--have I mentioned that I have the cutest Grandma ever?  It's true!!
• And so many more--including my readers out there in Blogland

So look at your foundation--is it strong?  Is it like the results of a good abs work out--a rock solid core that can hold you up?  Or is it a garden, overgrown with weeds who suffocate you and keep you from growing into the strong tree that you know you can be?  Is it time to do some pruning, or are you thriving? 

What does your foundation do for you?

One of Those Days

This, too, shall pass. -Proverb

Have you ever just had “one of those days?” Nobody really calls those days anything special, but when “one of those days” is referenced, I think we all know what it is. Maybe you didn’t sleep well the night before, or overslept and had to race out the door to get to work. Maybe you packed your gym bag last minute and forgot your pants (yep, that has DEFINITELY happened to me). Maybe you had a fight with a friend or your spouse and just started the day out on the wrong foot. Or your kids are extra irritable and no matter what you do, they don’t seem to understand that you just need a little peace and quiet. Well I have definitely had those days, and I had “one of those days” yesterday. So for all of you out there who have had the same, this entry is for you.

When I have these days, I try to step back and assess what the issue is. Am I really just tired? Am I sick and don’t feel well? Am I upset with somebody else? Or with myself? I am a pretty quick problem-solver, so if I can figure out what it is, I do my best to resolve the situation as best as possible. If I’m tired, I probably can’t just leave work to go home to sleep—but maybe I can do something to wake myself up—do some physical activity or play loud music. Maybe I’m sick and I just need to take some medicine and it’ll help. Maybe I’m hungry and I can grab a quick (and healthy!) snack. Or if its an emotional thing—can I do something to resolve it in the here and now? Can I just call a friend who can lend an ear or take a few minutes to jot down my thoughts on paper?

"The sun will come out tomorrow."  -Annie

 I’m not saying that all days can be so cut and dry—some days I really just do want to sit around and feel sorry for myself. Some days the emotional situation can’t be resolved in the here and now. Some days I resort to impulsive emotional responses—being snappy, going on a shopping spree (TARGET!), or eating every piece of candy/chocolate in sight. Yep—we all have these days, as well—I like to consider them “relapse days.” The days when I know better and I don’t choose to do better. I remind myself with each step that I still have the ability to turn myself back around and get back on the path—because I don’t have to have a “bad day,” but rather just a “bad hour” or few hours, perhaps.

In the end, there are 2 things that get me through these days when all else fails: This, too, shall pass. Tomorrow is a fresh start.

Yesterday—I did reach out to a friend, I did talk it out, I did journal it out, and when I found myself eating a few more brownies & tortilla chips than I needed, I told myself that “this, too, shall pass” and woke up today, ready to start the day with a Zumba class.

Today’s entry isn’t so inspirational or moving, but a reminder to all of us that we are all human and no matter how hard we are working or how good we feel, “those days” still happen and we need to be able to navigate through them just as well as any other.

As a reminder, I still need a SUPERSTAR submission from EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU SLACKERS that reads this blog and hasn’t sent one in. Please email them to me at laura_anne_82@hotmail.com and include a picture or several pictures that can be included. I know I have readers all over NC, the Midwest, and even in Europe, so I expect to get some entries from all over. Your accomplishment could be the very inspiration someone else needs.

Happy Hump Day!!