Turn, turn, turn

Don't cry because it is over.  Smile because it happened.  -Dr. Suess

Many people have told me that they believe that things happen for a reason. In my 29 years of existence, I have never been able to grasp this concept, and as a result, it is one that I have given up on. Instead, I have decided that sometimes crappy stuff just happens—not for any particular reason except that crappy stuff happens in life—but that within those crappy things, I can find purpose. I can try to make sense of it all, and try to walk away from it stronger than when I first approached it. Let me be clear to say that I don’t walk into crappy situations thinking, “man, I am looking forward to getting stronger as a result of the significant pain I am about to experience,” but I do work to understand and accept the situation, allowing myself to grow stronger as a result.

Crappy stuff happens. There are moron drivers who are going to rear-end us. People we love are going to die. We are going to get sick on the one day we wanted to be healthy. Injuries during training will occur. Natural disasters will steal our homes, belongings, even loved ones. Jobs will be lost. Our hearts will be broken.

And then comes the noise—the overwhelming, slap-in-the-face of reality, when that crappy stuff happens. The reality that we try to escape when we go to sleep, waking up hoping it was only a dream—but it was not. The tornado within our hearts rages like a fury and destroying any logical thought and hope we had. The point at which we are not sure if we should explode, implode, or hide. Where our heads are stuck in a vacuum and we cannot find the way out.

After the noise—silence. When the tears are dry, the anger is gone, and we are left with only the echoing sadness of our hearts.

And that is where the journey to healing and strength can occur. When the raging storm slows to a drizzle.

To everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven, it says in Ecclesiastes (or in a song by the Byrds, if you prefer that).

Whether preparing to say good-bye to a car after 8 years, or a 41 day life chapter, or a life-long dream, the sun will still rise tomorrow and the world will still go on turning.

Today I will work to find purpose. To look at life through new lenses. To smile because it happened, rather than cry because it is over.

We have all been here before.  And we will all be here again.  How do you do move forward when the silence comes?  How do you work to find purpose?  In the stroke of a brush, the strum of a string, the step of a foot?

Zumba madness!!

The journey between who you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place.  - Barbara De Angelis

For those who missed the memo, I am a white girl.  See exhibit A to the right--straight up white girl.  Within my whiteness, there are several truths that I hold to be self-evident:  I can't wear the color yellow, I can't rap (even if I try), and I SURE can't dance.  My sister, of the same biological make-up, does wear yellow, doesn't rap, and can move like she was adopted from somewhere south of the border.  How does this happen?  I have yet to figure it out, but again--it is a truth that is self-evident. 

Despite this final truth, I decided several months ago to try a crazy thing I had heard about, Zumba class.  You may recall a brief entry about this several weeks ago.  I was terrified of this--I was born into a musical family and I am rhythmic, but somehow my musical fingers have not spread their abilities to anything else in my body--namely my hips.  Give me a guitar, I can strum it--a drum, I can beat it--heck, I can sing anything (but won't sing country!).  But put on a dance CD and my butt won't leave the chair.  Ask any friends or relatives who have gotten married in the last 29 years--I am a great benchwarmer!!



Have I made my point yet about my inability to dance?  The image of a 90 year old doing hopscotch is less painful than the idea of me dancing. 



Don't be fooled--she may look white but they don't
call her "LaTina" for nothin'!

So the day I tried Zumba, I went in with a LOT of self-talk:  don't worry about anybody else; just focus on the instructor's feet; if it is awful it will only last 55 minutes; if nothing else, you will sweat and get in some cardio.  When I walked out of the class, I had fallen in love.  Not only did I sweat (as was the goal) and did some cardio, I had a good time!!  The music was fun & loud--and in the few seconds I looked around at the others, most of them couldn't dance either--but we were all having fun!! 

Who can rock sweats?
TINA!

In my marathon training, Coach Lynn has warned me that I may have to scale back on some of my other workouts because of the amount of running I will have to do throughout the week and the recovery time my body may need.  I DREAD the thought of this, but have already told myself that the weights class can be scaled back (not deleted) and Zumba won't go.  I make time each week to go.  The face I started with has changed--now it is my girl Tina who rocks every class with the biggest smile on her face.  She also hooked me up with some free passes so anybody who wants to give it a shot next Wednesday morning, hit me up!  I am going to make my way up to Breakin' Out in Greensboro, as well.

For those who are not from the Triad, please consider hitting up a class somewhere in your area--I am certain you will walk out at least having had fun.  And my advice about watching the feet--totally true!!  I've been going to Tina's class for a month now and can FINALLY look at something other than her feet the entire class.  It takes time, but you'll get a good work out and will have fun.  And it isn't like trying to go dancing at the club--it isn't a meat market, it is a class!!  Check out the video: 

So what are you waiting for--get out and give it a try--let me know how it went & if you're headed back anytime soon!!

She's a Brick House, She's Mighty Mighty...

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose. -Tehyi Hsieh

Happy Thursday morning, readers!! I hope you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as the weekend is in sight. I, for one, am ready for it! Then again, I could live in a perpetual state of weekends if it paid the bills.  I’m on a high this morning after having a great night, surrounded by 7 of the loveliest ladies I have ever met. As a result, we will focus again today on those with whom we surround ourselves.

Several weeks ago, I was baby-sitting my friend’s adorable 3 year old. At bedtime, the routine consists of crawling into bed with him, reading a book, snuggling for a couple minutes, tucking him in, and turning out the light. Of course, this is the best part of the entire night (not that racing motorcycles or watching Blue’s Clue’s isn’t great, of course). The book we read that night was “The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs.”   It is the story we all know being told from the perspective of Mr. Wolf (not to be confused with Mr. Wulff—my father & uncles). The Wolf says that he was baking and needed a cup of sugar, so he headed to his neighbor’s house. While there, he felt his nose itch and he sneezed, knocking over the house of straw. As he doesn’t want to be wasteful, he eats the pig before heading to the next house, built of straw. Of course, the Wolf still needs his sugar, so he again asks for a cup of sugar, but then feels his nose itch and sneezes again, blowing over the house of sticks. He can’t allow this meat to go to waste, so he gobbles up this pig and then heads to the final house, made of brick. You know how the rest of the story goes—he “sneezes” again on the house of brick, and it does not fall over. He is upset by the rudeness of this pig, who won’t answer the door, and is arrested after trying to break down the door. I’m sure you all tuned in today to hear the story of the 3 little pigs again, right?

The story really got me thinking, though. As a kid, I remember the “moral of the story” being that one should not use straw or sticks to build a house, and don’t take short cuts—just do the work. Rereading it with this little guy, however, I read it with an entirely new perspective. Without a strong foundation (brick house), anything will be able to knock me over.   And I have definitely seen this to be true--because while I do have "one of those days," I can maneuver through those and I am still standing.  I do have the strongest foundation I've ever had, and that is why nothing can knock me over.  My foundation is filled with bricks from all over--

• New running buddies from running groups
• A sweet Mom who doesn't let an eyelid injury keep her down--from work or from caring for others
• A "Latina" who can shake it with a smile & ask for advice fearlessly
• An Island of Misfits--who welcomed me in and let me "Fit In" more than I have ever  have
• A beautiful, perfectionist workaholic, considering scaling back to live and love life
• The best teammate & bruthuh ever, and bosses who always have my back
• A girl from a tiny Iowa town, now taking on Spain
• My college girls who have been there for me every day for the last 11 years
• My "Upstairs Family" who gave me the encouragement I needed to make my way to NC
• My 19 year old kid who stresses me out and makes me proud every day
• My SISTAH who is 9 years younger than me but can still be my BFF
• A friend who always ate her vegetables as a kid and is now teaching her own baby to do the same
• An English teacher who taught me not just how to write, but how to believe in and challenge myself
• An amazing family who has been there every day for me--have I mentioned that I have the cutest Grandma ever?  It's true!!
• And so many more--including my readers out there in Blogland

So look at your foundation--is it strong?  Is it like the results of a good abs work out--a rock solid core that can hold you up?  Or is it a garden, overgrown with weeds who suffocate you and keep you from growing into the strong tree that you know you can be?  Is it time to do some pruning, or are you thriving? 

What does your foundation do for you?

One of Those Days

This, too, shall pass. -Proverb

Have you ever just had “one of those days?” Nobody really calls those days anything special, but when “one of those days” is referenced, I think we all know what it is. Maybe you didn’t sleep well the night before, or overslept and had to race out the door to get to work. Maybe you packed your gym bag last minute and forgot your pants (yep, that has DEFINITELY happened to me). Maybe you had a fight with a friend or your spouse and just started the day out on the wrong foot. Or your kids are extra irritable and no matter what you do, they don’t seem to understand that you just need a little peace and quiet. Well I have definitely had those days, and I had “one of those days” yesterday. So for all of you out there who have had the same, this entry is for you.

When I have these days, I try to step back and assess what the issue is. Am I really just tired? Am I sick and don’t feel well? Am I upset with somebody else? Or with myself? I am a pretty quick problem-solver, so if I can figure out what it is, I do my best to resolve the situation as best as possible. If I’m tired, I probably can’t just leave work to go home to sleep—but maybe I can do something to wake myself up—do some physical activity or play loud music. Maybe I’m sick and I just need to take some medicine and it’ll help. Maybe I’m hungry and I can grab a quick (and healthy!) snack. Or if its an emotional thing—can I do something to resolve it in the here and now? Can I just call a friend who can lend an ear or take a few minutes to jot down my thoughts on paper?

"The sun will come out tomorrow."  -Annie

 I’m not saying that all days can be so cut and dry—some days I really just do want to sit around and feel sorry for myself. Some days the emotional situation can’t be resolved in the here and now. Some days I resort to impulsive emotional responses—being snappy, going on a shopping spree (TARGET!), or eating every piece of candy/chocolate in sight. Yep—we all have these days, as well—I like to consider them “relapse days.” The days when I know better and I don’t choose to do better. I remind myself with each step that I still have the ability to turn myself back around and get back on the path—because I don’t have to have a “bad day,” but rather just a “bad hour” or few hours, perhaps.

In the end, there are 2 things that get me through these days when all else fails: This, too, shall pass. Tomorrow is a fresh start.

Yesterday—I did reach out to a friend, I did talk it out, I did journal it out, and when I found myself eating a few more brownies & tortilla chips than I needed, I told myself that “this, too, shall pass” and woke up today, ready to start the day with a Zumba class.

Today’s entry isn’t so inspirational or moving, but a reminder to all of us that we are all human and no matter how hard we are working or how good we feel, “those days” still happen and we need to be able to navigate through them just as well as any other.

As a reminder, I still need a SUPERSTAR submission from EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU SLACKERS that reads this blog and hasn’t sent one in. Please email them to me at laura_anne_82@hotmail.com and include a picture or several pictures that can be included. I know I have readers all over NC, the Midwest, and even in Europe, so I expect to get some entries from all over. Your accomplishment could be the very inspiration someone else needs.

Happy Hump Day!!

Keep running, running, running

In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say, 'I have finished.' There is a lot of satisfaction in that.  -Fred Lebow, New York City Marathon co-founder

Please know that today's entry is NOT a plug for everybody to start running.  Running is my drug, but it doesn't have to be yours.  If you like playing volleyball, soccer,  hiking, skiing, whatever it is, do that.  But I have gotten LOTS of questions about running.  The beauty of running is that ANYONE can run--if you have lungs, 2 feet, and a heart--you can make it happen.  I have heard many say that they have bad knees or are overweight or any of those things--but the truth is that running will help with both of those things.  And obviously, check with your doctor before you start ANY exercise routine.

See the doc before you start--
I have to be taped to run!!

So to first prep for running, make sure you have the proper materials.  All it takes is a pair of shoes and whatever clothes you'd like to run in.  If you have the cash, I would highly advise that you go to a running-specific store and ask the employees there to observe your gait and ensure that you are getting a shoe that properly supports your feet/gait as to minimize the trauma to your body that pounding your feet can do.  Additionally, I do suggest that you check out sweat-wicking clothing.  You can head to a sports store and buy them there, but you can also check out Wal-Mart (the devil) or Target.  I am a fan of the C2 clothing by Champion at Target.  I wear a sweat-wicking sports bra, tank top, shorts, and socks.  This helps to minimize chafing and keep you cool.  Depending on the weather near you and the distance you are going to run, you may also want to get a water bottle.  You can just use a plastic bottle that you already have, or you could buy any of the new contraptions they have for runners (bottles that strap to your waist, back and hands).  Last prep item, for those who are chafers (I AM!) is to purchase some anti-chafing products.  I use Body Glide--it looks like a stick of deodorant.  There are other products out there, as well, and if you can't afford this, you can simply use Vaseline.  This is far messier than the other products, but is a cheaper alternative.  I don't believe you need to spend a single dollar on running if you don't want to--you can wear old tennies & old clothes, but for myself, strapping on all these items just puts me in the MOOD to run!!

From here, you just need a training plan.  I know many people who have used the Couch to 5k Program, which is very effective.  In a matter of 8 weeks, you can be ready to do a 5k.

A couple other pointers--if you are running in this heat--bring plenty of water, know the signs of heat stroke and know that it is okay to walk/cool down.  I enjoy running with my IPOD but it greatly decreases your awareness of what is going on around you and makes you a target to any "bad guys" out there, so be aware of that--or run with only one ear bud in.  Pick a good time/place to run--a shady trail/road and not during mid-day when the temps are highest.  And know that some days when you run, it feels great--others, you just do it to get it over with.  In the end, you still get the run done, and you are becoming a REAL RUNNER!  And it always helps to run with a friend.  I'm looking forward to a hot date this weekend where a non-runner is starting a new chapter called "running."  Even as a more advanced runner, it fills me with sheer excitement to see a friend trying this out!!

Good luck to everybody who wants to start some running.  Please comment below to let us know if the C25k has worked for you or for someone you know. 

Motivation 101, Part 4

"Nothing is so infectious as an example."  - Francois De La Rochefoucauld

Motivation Monday, my friends, has returned yet again!!  Today's concept is a seemingly easy one (for me anyway) and one I don't think will come with too much homework for you.  

I remember when we were young, we were taught that their are leaders and followers.  I have grown up and now found that there is another category--role models. I could spend days on end talking about leadership, but today we will talk about modeling.  Leaders are those who forge ahead and take others with them.  Role models move alongside you, hand in hand for each step of the journey.

As stubborn and opinionated I am, I have learned through many, many wasted arguments that there is a slim chance I will ever convince anyone of a different opinion/perspective through my words, but instead through my example.  Since losing my weight and becoming a fitness junkie, I have many people ask me what they need to do, eat, etc., in order to lose weight.  While I can have a discussion with them, I'd much rather do it with them--go for a walk, look through their kitchens and help identify some new foods they can try, even discuss the fears they have about losing weight.

Seriously--this man has GOT to be
Superhuman.  Check out his site
 right here.

Think about role models you have had in your life and the qualities of theirs that you admired and tried to absorb.  When we have a role model, we believe we can do/become all that we see them as.  Dean Karnazes ran across the USA earlier this year--so when I think about whether or not I can run all 26.2 miles, I remember that he did more than that every day.  Many people enjoy watching Biggest Loser because all of us can relate to the individuals on that screen--whether we are overweight or not--we see someone who has a dream and wants to make changes and struggles in their ability to accomplish it. 

So today, I want you to think about the goal or goals you have outlined and find a role model who has done it--has been through that challenge and made it.  If we know someone else did it, it becomes more believable that we can, as well.  If you are trying to quit smoking, think of people whom you know who have quit.  If you are going to become a triathlete, find another person who is one who can help show you the ropes.  Often our role models may be a little out of reach (Jillian Michaels, anyone?!), so while those role models are still great examples, it is often helpful to have one that you can call up on the phone and talk to for some pointers.

Please comment below about who your role model is and what he/she is motivating you to do.  And know that you may be someone else's role model--giving back for that which has been given to you.

I hope everybody had a weekend that was as great as mine, and that you are all feeling motivated from the inside out! 

Goal lines

Without deadlines and restrictions I just tend to become preoccupied with other things.  -Val Kilmer

My Goal Line--October 16, 2011

Within the wonderful world of gray, the ends of the spectrum--the black and the white--still exist.  I have chosen a topic today that we are going to call Goal Lines--which is a spin on the word "deadline."  Mostly because dead lines has a negative connotation--and I have never really thought of it before, but DEAD line?  No thank you.  We are living, not dying.  I am not a very big fan of deadlines, but ask any boss I've ever had--I cannot function without them.  If you need something done by Wednesday, you need to communicate Wednesday to me, not "whenever you get  a chance."  Deadlines create a natural anxiety within us that is necessary to complete a task--whether it is a session note, getting car registration done, getting a bill paid, or getting to work on time. 
 

2010 Autism Run/Walk
I believe running w/ a tongue out
makes me cool, right?

As promised, we are going to take a spin on this and look at how goal lines can keep us motivated.  If I have a date in mind regarding something I will accomplish (versus a deadline, a time in which it must be DONE, not accomplished), it gives me some of that same anxiety and accountability.  Those goal lines become even more real when we communicate them to others.  I do a lot of thinking, analyzing (to a fault--and you who are reading this & know me well know how true this is!), and dreaming.  In my world of embracing gray, however, I cannot dream, think, or analyze only--I have to embrace, I have to DO the gray.  I have used goal lines to do this many things.  Everytime I begin to think about a new race, I tell someone--anyone--because then it becomes a reality.  I did my first 5k on May 29, 2010.  I was as nervous as could be, but my amazing friends & their kids did it with me to keep me from feeling as terrified.  From the time I crossed that finish line, I knew it was going to be the first finish line of many.  Since that time, I have had to have a next race in mind--I need to know what is coming next so that I can prepare, train, focus, and keep that accountability under my feet.  I went from several 5ks (3.1 miles) to an 8k (4.97 miles), then a 10k (6.2 miles), then a half marathon (13.1 miles), and now onto the BIG one--the full marathon (26.2 miles). As soon as I thought about these races, I spoke them into truth and could not talk myself out of them.
 
So think about this for yourself.  What goal lines can you set for yourself?  If you are trying to quit cigarettes, can you pick a goal line of the day you are going to quit?  If you want to lose 5 pounds, can you pick a goal line for when this will be done?  Maybe a credit card you want to have paid off that would benefit from a goal line?  The idea of a goal line is that it no longer is a dream or an idea--it is a goal that you will actively pursue and by having a goal line in mind, you can accomplish it.

The Frnephew, T Dolla Bill

This is now the time where I will transition into "Shameless Plug" time.  There are 2 races coming up this fall in the Triad that I would LOVE to have any of you take part in, in whatever form you can.  The first is on Sept 17 and is a walk/run for Autism.  My little frnephew (that is a word I created--meaning friend/nephew as there is no blood relation) is going to be 6 next week and we did this race last year as a fund raiser for families in the community who are impacted by autism.  If you are interested in joining our team for this or donating, please check out our facebook page right here or the actual race page at this link.  There is one other local race that I ran last year alone and found it to be the most inspirational race ever, the Women's Only 5k.  Last year, over 2200 women/girls crossed the finish line at this event that raises money for mammography scholarships.  From the moment that the race began, it was a sea of pink for 3.1 miles.  It was moving to see women/girls of all ages walking, strolling, running, dancing the entire way.  If you would be interested in participating in this event, please check out their site here.  I will definitely be at both races and would love to meet up with any/all of you who are able to join for it.  And for those who are shy about it, there are many in both races who walk the entire thing--so they are not competitive races, they are races for a cause (my favorite kind).  I will be posting later this week about some training programs for those who are interested in preparing for a 5k--and I PROMISE you that ANYBODY can do a 5k.

The black and white that we can create (goal lines, limits, boundaries) allows us to embrace the gray and function within it.  A goal line creates the boundary, and we can work diligently within our gray to meet it.

Enjoy the remainder of your weekend, friends--share with us about your goal lines--and if your goal lines are either of the 5ks, I will see you there!!

S U P E R S T A R S A T U R D A Y

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.  -William Makepeace Thackeray

Alright everybody--today's featured SUPERSTAR is Melissa.  She is an old friend of mine and I am proud to feature her today as a prime example of an ordinary SUPERSTAR, as she has titled her submission.   Melissa is one of the strongest individuals I have ever known--she went from being endearlingly called "Little One" to "Mommy."  Enjoy her story as a reminder of how we are all SUPERSTARS every day--and how we can inspire others through our stories.  As a reminder, I'm taking submissions for future SUPERSTAR SATURDAYS, so please email them to me at laura_anne_82@hotmail.com .  Enjoy!!

ORDINARY SUPERSTAR

Mama & Mia

I’m an ordinary superstar. I may not be amazing, but I am good enough. I don’t have fantastic travel plans to an exotic land, but I get out of bed every day and choose to be present in the mission field of life. Knowing I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing what’s been laid out for me to accomplish at this point in my life and finding contentment in the midst of it all is what makes me a superstar.

Steve & Gideon
Nice Decorah shirt!!

I’m married to my devoted husband and we have two awesome kids. I left my career as a nurse after my daughter was born in 2009 to be a stay at home mom (SAHM). Since that time I have become a birth doula and started my own business, picked up a part time job teaching Lamaze childbirth classes and I’m currently in the process of applying to grad school to become a nurse midwife. I’m a huge advocate for the rights and needs of moms and babies. My husband and I are also very active in our local church. I teach Sunday school, I’m an AWANA leader and I sing on a worship team. But my life is not all glitter and unicorns. Honestly, most days it’s a lot to swallow and I find myself counting down the minutes until bedtime so that I can sink into my couch with a glass of wine and watch past episodes of Modern Family.

Mia during summer fun!

Someone once said after the birth of my daughter “the days are long but the years are short.” How true that is, and it’s a phrase I repeat over and over in my head as I try to remain present and focused through eleventythousand toddler demands for juice, Elmo and Goodnight Moon, coupled with ear splitting tantrums and daily poosplosions. Parenting is not an easy gig, in fact, it’s the most challenging one I’ve ever had. There are a bajillion “expert” opinions on how to raise children, facets of parenting that are so polarizing they can turn the meek into rabid monkeys and ultimately, no matter what you do, someone will tell you you’re doing it wrong. And I won’t even go into the camp of people that wonder what SAHM’s “do” all day…but as a random fact, I plugged everything I “do” in a day into an online salary calculator and it estimated my yearly income around $115,000. Here’s the deal, people, I stopped trying to be the perfect mama a long time ago. Instead, I aim only to be good enough, and I’m cool with that. My kids don’t need me to be perfect, they need me to be real. They need to see me make mistakes, and fail, and say I’m sorry and try harder. So as long as my kids are happy and healthy, all the nay saying asshats can suck it. The rewards of parenting small children are few, but great. It’s the unprompted “please” and “thank you’s” from the lips of my toddler, and the sweet smiles and coos from my baby when he sees me walk into the room.

Baby G

Add keeping my marriage alive, running a small business, a part time job and grad school to the mix and I have an instant recipe for overload.

So where does the contentment piece fall in this chaos? It comes in finding balance. I make sure to take time for myself every day whether it’s enjoying a cup of chai tea, a walk, reading a chapter in a book, a shower without an audience or lunch with a friend. It’s also the quality of the time and not the quantity. It’s not easy to get a few minutes to myself, but I have to make it work for my sanity. Without this balance things start falling apart. I’m short tempered with my kids and snarky to my husband. I start feeling resentful of my life and wishing things were “easy.” My point is that I have to make an effort to be content, because if I sit around and wait for peace to find me there will always be 101 reasons why it won’t.

Proud Mama

Of course there are days where I lose my schmidt with my kids, argue with my husband, have no time for personal hygiene, my laundry room is spewing with two week’s worth of laundry that needs to be folded and we eat pizza for dinner, and sometimes these days are more often than I’d like. But just about the time I’m ready to give up I remind myself that I’m not perfect, but I am good enough…and then I have a glass of wine.

Please comment below to Melissa about her Ordinary Superstardom--and maybe another Mom you know who is your own Superstar!!  We are all proud of you, Melissa!!  And we all love you endlessly--especially the Waverlys.  :)  XOXO

Putting yourself first

Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body. ~Cicero

I was visiting on the phone this week and discussing an analogy I often use in sessions with parents.  Picture yourself getting ready to head out on vacation, sitting on a plane.  We all know that when the safety procedures are reviewed, most of us tune out.  I don't know why we discuss them because in the event of an emergency, we are all going to die and there is no point in knowing that the seat below me turns into a flotation device.  However, there is one valuable lesson that comes from this.  “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically descend from the ceiling. Grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have children travelling with you, first secure your mask before assisting with theirs." 

How often has it been imprinted within us that putting yourself first is an act of selfishness?  I, myself, am a natural giver.  I would like to take every bum I see out for lunch.  I will drop everything to help out a friend in need.  I will help the old lady carrying groceries and will make sure that the 3 foot rat snake I find in my basement gets outside unharmed.  So how is it possible that when I put myself first, I am selfish?  The answer is that I am not, and neither are you.  When you put yourself first, you are the healthiest you can be.

Obviously there is a fine line between being selfish ("No, I can't help you out because I am putting myself first") and making yourself a priority ("I would love to help you, but I need to first take care of my responsibilities).  I am in no way endorsing selfishness.  But I do want to talk about putting yourself first.

I met a woman who was ailing from an inability to put herself before others.  When I met her, she would literally not get out of bed until a crisis with one of her children occurred.  She would get phone calls every day about her sons getting in trouble at school and would react.  Her children were fed, well dressed, had fresh haircuts, and despite not having a lot of money, were kept happy.  She helped out her sisters and her parents at the drop of a hat and made sure that everybody  body else had what they need and that they were happy.  The problem?  She was not.  She would spend about 23 hours a day lying in her bed with the curtains drawn, drifting in and out of consciousness.  When I met her, she told me she wanted to make changes--so that's exactly what we did.  It turns out that for months, she had been sacrificing herself for her kids--was trying to go back to school but was getting interrupted at school and could not keep up on school work because every day she was being forced to go deal with them.  She had a job but was so overwhelmed with her failing school grades and her children's troubles that she had to quit.  Because she was feeling a loss of control in other areas of her life, she stopped taking her medications.  This was all a slow deterioration process.  With a few discussions about putting herself first, some significant changes were made.  She first started taking her medications.  Because she was feeling more balanced, she was ready for the next step--literally.  She started going outside every day.  Her goal was to walk around the block.  I got a call later that day saying that after she did one lap, it wasn't enough, so she kept going for an hour!  Now that she was medicated and getting out of bed, she started taking care of her hygiene, showering, getting her hair done, painting her nails, dressing up a little more.  Within  2 months, she was back at school.  Because she was feeling more confident, she was able to set some limits with her sons, who were now doing better in school because they were not so worried about Mom, and they knew that she wasn't going to tolerate their foolishness in school.  By the 3rd month, she was working full time, continuing in school 4 days a week, and looked like a happiness I'd never seen in her before.  This is a fine example of how putting yourself first helps you to not only be happier and healthier, but helps those around her.  Her son was able to go for 2 months without being sent home from school (it used to happen weekly!), her son's teacher reported that he was like a brand new kid in school because he was trying so hard and was working to help others in class, and their family as a whole had become closer. 

If you don't place your oxygen mask on yourself first, you will pass out and others around you who needed help will not be able to receive it.  It is critical that you spend time regularly on yourself.  It can be a few minutes a day out on a walk, writing in a journal, or just taking time to meditate.  It can be a weekly trip to yoga or rewarding yourself with a massage, maybe even buying yourself something because you just deserve it.  Whatever it is, recognize all the good that you do for others, but know that you cannot give all that you can give until you allow yourself all that you can be--by putting yourself first. 

Eat Your Wheaties!

You can only come to the morning through the shadows.  -J.R.R. Tolkien

As I woke up this morning, rolling my butt out of bed at 6:45 to get ready for a HOT morning of speed work, I realized what a fan of mornings I am NOT.  I may enjoy them more if I got a few more hours of sleep at night, but sometimes that which keeps us awake is more exciting than sleeping.  Such is the case for me, undoubtedly!

However, I cannot function throughout the day remaining upset with the world for having mornings, so I must quickly choose the attitude of surviving the morning.  Of course, we were always told to eat our Wheaties.  I must confess that I have never eaten Wheaties, though I am a fan of Kashi Go-Lean Crunch (SO DELICIOUS!) and peanut butter English muffins with bananas.  Sometimes breakfast is the only reason I peel my body out of my bed. 

A breakfast in France!  Breads, jams, cheese
applesauce, yogurt, cheese!!

I firmly believe that when a strong foundation is built, it can hold and support anything.  With that idea in mind, I work to be sure that my mornings are the strong foundation that will support the rest of my day.  This not only includes a breakfast, but making sure that my morning routine is what I need to start the day out on the right foot.  I make sure to check my email, have breakfast, put away the dry dishes in the sink, catch the weather report, make sure that my bags are packed for the gym and work, and knock out a few push ups.  I enjoy a little solitude in the morning to help me "get my head in the game."  My morning also frequently includes music to energize me and get  my brain firing. 

Coffee, I'm sure, is a vice to many of my readers.  I am guessing many of you skip breakfast (if you need a lecture about this, let me know).  Maybe you start the morning out with your spouse or children, or a nice hot shower (I do shower but not until after I've worked out).  Perhaps your morning includes a walk with the dogs or a Skype session to a daughter in Spain.  Or a lengthy appointment with the mirror as you apply your make-up and fix your hair (that's for you Heids!). 

Most importantly for me, I choose an attitude about the day.  Even when I have "a case of the Mondays," I work diligently to ensure I have a good day, both by the self-talk I use and by reaching out to others to greet them and wish them a good day. 

So what do you need to start your day out strong?  Please post them here as others may like ideas about starting their mornings out similarly!

You've Got a Friend

A friend is one who loves you and loves you anyway.  -Elbert Hubbard

We have reached hump day, everybody, which means the weekend is in sight.  It also means I am closer to a 14 mile run on Saturday in weather that is forecasted to be 98 degrees (and Midwesterners love referencing the heat index--so I used an online heat index calculator to discover that the heat index will be 131 degrees).  I tell you this all to say that in case you never hear from me again after Saturday, it is likely because I am laying on the pavement of the Greenway and slowly frying.  Only kidding--I will be going out QUITE early and will be prepared with extra liquids & will take extra walk breaks, as needed.

Look at these hotties--getting ready for hill repeats!

Anyway, onto today's topic--friends.  I'm not sure if any of you missed the memo, but I have the most amazing friends in the world. And I don't say that in an attempt to compete with you--just to make it clear.  I live 1000 miles away from some of my best friends, and this distance is not evident in our relationships.  I also have developed an amazing group of friends here--the kind that can call and make me laugh about a zucchini, provide therapy and a reality check when I need it, say "we" can take on a challenge rather than "you," and the kind that offer to make me dinner on Friday before I have to run 14 miles.  Yeah, my friends could not get any greater.

With as much running as I have to do throughout the week (during the week, I run 3 times, 3-6 miles each--then on Saturdays I run 6-20 miles, depending on what that week's training calls for), I have to figure out ways to keep myself motivated & focused.  I have found that running with a friend makes it SOOOO much more tolerable.  I do enjoy some solo runs, but I enjoy 1-2 runs a week with a companion.  This Monday was no exception.  My Zumba-loving, Boston-accent-speaking, life-living friend, Tina, was up for the run and went with me.  It was in the 90's and I was dying physically, but it felt great to sweat with a friend, and to get to know a great person.  I have either begun or helped to grow relationships with about a dozen friends at this point. 

I'm not suggesting that everyone needs to pick up running to make friends--but I am telling you that having friends makes the world go 'round, and they are a great way to keep at your goals.  It also provides an additional form of accountability.  I know that when I run with friends, I walk less, keep a better pace, and am less focused on "getting it over with" and more focused on enjoying the moment. 
This blog is not intended to make everybody a runner, but I do hope that people will explore the satisfaction that comes from being active.  This morning, I will be hitting up a weights class & doing Zumba--the instructors of both classes are my friends and I'll be surrounded by other people and it makes these activities much more fun.

Pres, Walmart & La after their 10k & my first half

So give it a try!!  And share with us here about how an activity became more enjoyable because of a friend that joined you for it.  And really--can you just share something?!  My stats tell me that I had 55 page views yesterday--and ZERO comments.  I'd appreciate it if I could get a few comments per day!!

Also--a reminder that I'm looking for submissions for Saturday's SUPERSTAR post.  I have gotten many comments/emails from people about how they will submit sometime but that they have to do something Superstar-like first.  I am here to tell you, my friends, that every single one of you has done something that makes you a SUPERSTAR.  Did you decide to run a lemonade stand when you were 10 and put your profits toward a charity?  Did you climb a ladder, despite your fear of heights?  Did you take your family to Romania to hold babies? Did you take on a challenge to plant a garden?  Did you find the courage to go back to school after you had been out for years?  Seriously, SUPERSTARS are all around us, so PLEASE send me your submissions--you never know how your story could inspire someone else.  Looking at it that way, wouldn't it be selfish of you NOT to send your submission in?  Hit me up with it here, folks:  laura_anne_82@hotmail.com


Happy Hump Day!!

Plan for the Detours

The best way to predict the future is to create it. –Alan Kay

Happy Tuesday, Blog Buds—I hope everyone’s Monday went as great as mine did and you are ready to hit the ground running today! We have come to a time for a necessary topic-accountability. This is not a favorite subject of mine, but a necessary evil to assist us along the way. Today’s topic should apply to every single one of us. To those who are using the cruise control and appearing seemingly consistent in your daily efforts toward your goal, or for those who are struggling more so and can put on your gym clothes, drive to the gym, walk into the gym and then turn around and leave because you just don’t have any accountability. Those of you out there, you know who you are!!

Any of you who know me well could tell you that I do not respond well to being micromanaged, but if I don’t have very clear and defined limits/boundaries, I will inevitably struggle because I don’t know what my role is. For example, I am not a fan of the speed limit—I believe it should be more of a speed suggestion. I do, however, get upset with drivers who drive like maniacs and fly down the 65 zones going 90. So while I do not like the speed limit, it is something that helps me to succeed. Additionally, if these roads were not being monitored by police, I would probably be one of those 90 mph morons—and not because I’d need to go 90 but because I COULD go 90 without repercussions. I’d like to visit with you today about how you can work to implement some of this same accountability in your life.

Let us first start by recalling the goals that we defined weeks ago. Picture again in your mind the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches related to these goals. Can you feel it as though it is right in front of your face? Now picture moving that goal away from your face—put some space in between you and the goal. Look into that space and identify the potential potholes, speed bumps and exit ramps that you see in that space. These are the millions of excuses or “cheats” we can use that create the distance between ourselves and our goals. I don’t want us to stay here long—I’m not trying to create hopelessness, just a reality of the days that our motivation levels are low (and we have them, I promise, we all do!!). Now that we see all of these potential detours from our goals, it is time to start problem-solving.

What safety nets can you reinforce to create success for yourself? I mentioned a while ago my ability to open up a refrigerator, find a snack, eat it, and walk away realizing that I just ate because I could---not because I was hungry. Tackling this has been an on-going process of accountability reinforcement. I had to create reminders on the fridge of my goals. I had to create “rules” for myself—if it is not a meal time/planned eating time, I have to ask myself a series of questions about WHY I am eating—and take the time to do 25-50 push ups (and if at the end of it, I still want to eat, it is no longer impulsive but planned and then it is okay). I even keep a food log daily that turn into my coach—not because she really cares what I am eating, but because I know I have to report to her.

Time to ask yourself how you can develop similar strategies to help you out. Is it accountability to post on facebook about your daily progress toward your goal? What about a friend that you can correspond with daily to keep each other on track? You may be someone who can create self-accountability through keeping a daily planner and recording your progress each day? Maybe it asking a friend to do it with you (to go for a walk or go shopping with you to make sure you don’t overspend). Maybe it is contacting a friend each time you are struggling with a craving for a cigarette. I know I put in far greater effort in a group than I do individually. I have yoga and pilates videos—they are collecting dust on my shelf because I literally will start the movie, get into position—and then lay down & not do it. Put me in a class at the gym and that’d never happen.

Go ahead and identify your solutions for accountability and get them set up. Your goal should no longer be at a distance, but right back within reach of your mind’s eye as you have just prepared for potential relapses and developed strategies to avoid allowing those relapses to become endings on a journey cut short.

A quick shout out to my girl, Lish, who is at T-minus 89 days as we prepare for our races in Des Moines. Thanks for sharing my link, Girl!!

Enjoy your Tuesday, ya’ll. Get out there and taste today like the ripened fruit that it is!

So this is a lot of inside work again, guys, but remember we are doing this together & we are being open about each step of this process in order to maintain our focus on the goals!!

Motivation 101, Part 3

A bee flies because nobody ever told them that they couldn't. -Nikki James

 

Third week of Motivation Monday? Coming right up.

Hannah & Josh

As a review, in week one, I asked you to create in your mind a mental picture of your goal—very specific and realistic. In week two, we discussed vision boards and reminders of our goals & motivators. I did get one picture sent by Jake, who sent in a great picture of his 2 greatest motivations—Joshua & Hannah. They motivate me, so I hope they do the same for you!!

Earlier this year, I watched the 2011 Tony Awards. Neil Patrick Harris was the host and was seriously hysterical—the opening number had me in tears because I was laughing so hard. But the most touching moment of the night was when Nikki James, Broadway actress, won Best Featured Actress for the show, Book of Mormon. Her hysteria about winning this clearly indicated her true state of shock about winning. While many people had prepared speeches ahead of time, hers was the most touching of the night because it had not been written. Keep in mind that I typically change the channel during the speeches because I find them boring—but this one was so touching.  At minute 1:50 it happens.  Check out her speech here: 

As we utilize some of the skills we learned about in other posts, I would like to see you work to recognize your strengths and your talents by making out a list.  Write a list of accomplishments you have made and positive qualities about yourself.  Put it somewhere you can see it--your vision board, your fridge, your wallet-you could even put several copies around in different places.  Make this a live document so you can keep adding to it.  2 years ago, my list was half the length that it is now.  This list helps me stay focused on the tops of the hills when I start to focus on the difficulty of the hill.

So create this list.  Maybe you can put that you have pretty eyes.  Or a good sense of humor.  Maybe it can be accomplishments like paying off debts in the past, losing 10 pounds, or walking away from an unhealthy relationship even though it was difficult.  Maybe you can write about a time you were courageous in the past, like when you delivered a speech in front of others, or talked to a boss about a promotion, or mustered up the courage to plant that long-awaited first kiss.  Whatever the list incorporates, make sure it is something you can look back at and work on giving yourself some credit--after all, don't you deserve it?

I have a feeling I have quite a few readers who are checking in, but not doing the work.  I have been there & done that--and while I appreciate you checking in, I do want to tell you that unless you TRULY do the work--make the vision board, practice replacement statements, post a list somewhere--it is not going to be as effective.  You might as well get the most you can for your money--oh wait--this blog is free.  More bang for your buck, then!! 

Touch

Sometimes it's better to put love into hugs than to put it into words.  -Unknown

For those of you who are familiar with the 5 love languages, you are well aware of the impact of physical touch as a way of communicating love.  For those who are not familiar with it, let us use the obvious.  When an infant is born, the first thing the doctors/nurses do is rush the baby to lay on its Mother.  This physical touch is the first step of the mother/child bond. 

Today we will discuss physical touch as a form of affection and its impact on yourself and others.  Obviously there is physical contact for other reasons than affection (attention and aggression--shout out to all those who know that training), but we are going to focus on how you can use the power of human touch to do good, not evil. 

As I think about my typical day and the various forms of touch that I have, they are many.  I often "pound it" with my clients as a form of positive reinforcement.  I may pat someone on the back or the head.  I may give a handshake to someone as a congratulations.  I may hug a friend as we greet, or depart, or even to to communicate that I care and am here to be a support with whatever hardships that individual is experiencing.  I may snuggle with my favorite 5 year old boy to communicate my love for him. 

We all have had memorable forms of physical contact with others--a situation in which that contact impacted you for a moment or for a lifetime.  Consider how influential that moment was for you.  Last week, we talked about the power of the spoken word to somebody.  Consider this another tool to help motivate or reinforce others, as well as to nourish your soul.  Think about it--have you ever given/received a hug that was  not equally reciprocated?  Not often, unless you as a kid you were forced to hug great aunt Florence and she smelled like old ladies so you kept a safe distance within the hug.

I always chuckle when I hug my 5 year old autistic nephew as I am hugging to show love--and he is hugging to sniff my hair (and yes, I sniff his in return).  I feel renewed when I'm in a race and a stranger offers a high five--it gives me the power to keep going those next few steps that seem like miles.  And is there anything better than a long, tight hug to communicate love and affection with somebody whom you care about? 

Today, I challenge you to seek out an individual who would benefit from some form of physical affection/physical touch.  Communicate to that person through a hug, a "pound it," a high five, a kiss.  Share with us here about how your affection impacted someone else--or even how you were impacted by it.  Take some time to reflect upon it and how you can continue to implement this into your life.  Have you used a hug, rather than words, to communicate love to someone today?  I have--and it was a more effective way to express it than any words I could've found in that moment. 

S U P E R S T A R S A T U R D A Y

Its my prozac.  -Bridget Shaw Thomas

Meet Bridget.  My friend and yours. 
Her hair = amazing.

Here we are again, folks, for week #2 of Superstardom.  Buckle up because today is sure to be a motivator!  And for you sensitive little hearts out there, you may need to grab a kleenex.

Today, I introduce you to a mover and a shaker--her name is Bridget.  I met her 4.5 hours ago and spent 7 miles with her.  It took me less than that to figure out how great she was--you will get a blog to show you the same. 

Bridget is an active girl--does a lot of biking (bikes to work every day, runs, and is going to try a Rush Power class now!!).  She enjoys getting out and getting her sweat on.  She has recently been the one heading up the Triad Frontrunners, a local running group composed of LGBT and Allies Running and Walking Group in the Piedmont Triad Area of North Carolina, and is now starting up a local cycling group, as well.  She presently works in the Kinesiology Department at UNCG, but because she's not busy enough (what?!), she is going to go back to school in August to get her Master's Degree in Public Health.  Bridget says that she needs to work out---needs to sweat--because it is her prozac, only cheaper and with side effects that are GOOD, not bad.   



Bridget & her uber cute "running
husband," Hayden

She started running with her "running husband" (pictured) back in August.  During their first run, she fell out--had a seizure and had to be taken to the hospital.  After many costly tests, the end result was the following:  "We don't know what caused it, but you need to stop running, biking, working out altogether because you may have another one."  Clearly only smart people can work in Kinesiology, so you know the girl is bright....so when she got this advice, she decided to do what any smart person would do:  ignore doctor's orders and start running.  She knew that she could run a risk of another seizure--from a completely unknown cause--but that if she didn't stay fit & active, she would be back visiting the doctor for sure--for open heart surgery.
Bridget feels the power of being active, eating right, and feeling good about herself.  As a result, she is working to leave her mark on the world by helping others to find the same satisfaction.  Bridget has taken on the running group and now starting the cycling group so she can keep others motivated, and keep herself accountable. 

Bridget & her crew

For those who live in the Triad who are interested in meeting the amazing Ms. Bridget or join one of her groups, you can hit her up on facebook by clicking here.  For those who do not live in the Triad, know that there are people like Bridget all over the world who are looking to motivate & inspire.  Do not be FEARFUL of trying a group because you may not be good enough/fast enough/whatever enough--these groups are there for anybody who is willing to show up.

As a quick reminder, I'm still looking for people to send me emails at laura_anne_82@hotmail.com about the following:

• Pictures of your motivation/inspiration for Motivation Monday.
• Submissions for SUPERSTAR SATURDAY--remember to send a picture along with your story!  Tell us what makes you a SUPERSTAR and allow your achievements to be the inspiration for another to achieve!

Enjoy your Saturday, blog buddies!

Breaking the Broken Record

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. -Author Unknown

So today we will delve into another internal topic—our self-talk. This is an interesting topic because it really takes several steps to address these, and this is one that takes a LOT of maintenance. 

As usual, I will share a story from my week that is what inspired today’s topic. As you may well know, I am a runner at this point in my life. I decided about a year and a half ago that I was going to lose weight. I spent about 6 months doing the elliptical and gained enough confidence to start moving outside—and this has since turned into a love for running. Last May, I did my first 5k, by the end of the summer I’d done an 8 k, then over the winter at 10k, and in April a half marathon. October 16 is the date of the marathon that’s on the calendar. I was warned by many that marathon training is like a full-time job—or a spouse—takes a LOT of work and it is always on your mind. Because I was already doing a lot of running, I didn’t think it would be much of an adjustment for me. I could not have been more wrong. Coach Lynn (the best coach ever) wrote out a training plan for me that I’ve been following, and today was a 4 mile tempo run. For those that don’t “habla el marathono lingo,” a tempo run is basically running at 30 seconds less than your goal marathon pace (so if you plan to keep an 11 min mile during the marathon, do it at a 10:30 pace). I did just that today—and holy buckets it was tough.

One of the truths that a runner must accept is that there are good days and bad days when one runs. This may be based upon the temperature, the humidity, what you ate or drank before, how much sleep you had, how you’re feeling in general, and how much activity in which you have recently engaged. While this is a widely accepted truth, it does not make it any easier when it happens, such as on a day like today. It is at these times that I have to remember the work I have done to conquer the self-talk.

Think about the broken records that play in your head—the self-defeating and self-deprecating statements that you repeat throughout the day, creating a surround sound performance of what you CAN’T do or what you are NOT? Here are some fine examples:

I can never do anything right. Nobody likes me anyway. I’m too (insert adjective here...fat, ugly, stupid, slow, etc.) to do it. I won’t be successful, so why try.

These broken record statements are very powerful, and they typically stem from something that somebody told us or led us to believe earlier in life—and while we hated the experience of them when we were younger, we tend to allow them to repeat in our head regularly.

Here’s the good news: You have the power to change them.

Here’s the bad news: Now that you know this, you have nobody to blame but yourself!!

So today’s homework is several steps:

1. Pick ONE of your broken record statements and identify it. Write it down, share it with a friend, speak it into the universe, put it in a journal—whatever it is.

2. Think about it—where did this weed start growing in your mind? This may be a less-than-enjoyable process—and maybe even painful—but I know you can do it. If you were strong enough to live through it when you were younger, I know you are strong enough to review it now.

 

3. Assess it. Is it based upon truth? Are you REALLY too WHATEVER to accomplish your goal? Are you REALLY a failure? I’m guessing it isn’t based upon truth. Because the only things we canNOT do are those which are truly impossible—I cannot physically jump from the ground to the top of the 80 foot tree in my back yard.

4. Replace it. Find a statement you can replace it with that is based upon truth. My old record statement (“It is too hard and you can’t do it”) has been replaced with a new, realistic one: You can do it, you have done it before, and you’ll do it again. 

This is no easy task, but go ahead and give it a try. Share with us below about your record—what was it and what can you make it? And if you want to share about its roots, all the better!